A traumatic experience that led me to hijab

By Jade Walker (Canada)

It’s a pleasure for me to share my story and I pray that Allah blesses every sister in a way she couldn’t imagine and that he guides us all and gives us the strength to please him in everything we do, regardless of what this dunya defines as the straight path Aameen <3

 I reverted on March 8th 2014. I never once thought in my entire life that I would become a Muslim. I was raised in a strict Christian family and I was very involved with in the church. As a Christian, I was a very passionate believer but I also had many questions that went unanswered. I was always too scared to ask and so I just accepted Christianity and wandered around believing blindly.

About two years ago, unfortunately I had a traumatic experience that led me to hating Islam. I hung out around the wrong crowd and I was raped by a man I had known previously who claimed to be a Muslim. Having no knowledge of Islam except from the media, I developed a constant fear and paranoia of all Muslims. It was deteriorating away at my very being and although I was hurt beyond what words can describe, I noticed a conviction towards this disease and hatred in my heart. I felt betrayed and as if someone had stolen the very thing I had tried to protect. My self esteem hit the lowest point it had ever been. This disease tainted my heart for about two years and it bothered me a lot because I knew it was wrong. I generalized all Muslims for one man’s crime how could that possibly make sense?? One night when I was home by myself I fell to my knees (subhanAllah-Glory be to God) full of tears, shame, and hopelessness. I cried out to God and I said,” God I can’t carry this burden around with me for the rest of my life. I know that it’s unfair for me to judge all Muslims for one man’s crime, so please God Im begging you to give me beauty for ashes. Im begging you to forgive me and to teach me to forgive him. Please transform my heart God….Please….”

Not long after that night I started to look into Islam. I had no idea where to start because I knew absolutely nothing about Islam. So out of curiosity I started to research why women wear the hijab and what it represented. I found out that this “terrible religion” wasn’t what I thought it was. When I did my research, I found out that women cover for various reasons. My interpretation of the hijab was that these women are covering because they would rather be judged for their character and intelligence rather than their body. They don’t want to be looked at as a piece of meat but rather, a person. They cover to protect their beauty and keep it for Allah, themselves, and their husbands. I also noticed that in doing this, they save themselves and men from sharing in the same sin. I was completely speechless and couldn’t believe that I shared the same view as something as small as this. As a Christian I never believed that Jesus (a.s) was God himself and so I was even more speechless once I researched the core beliefs of Islam. I found out that they believe in worshiping one God and not the creation of God. This intrigued me and I became more and more curious. Many misconceptions I had about Islam were cleared up and I slowly started to fall in love with this religion. I humbled myself and prayed to God. I asked him to guide me because I was lost and I wanted to know the true path. About two weeks later I went to a local mosque out of curiosity and that day I took Shahada. La illaha ill Allah Muhammadur Rasool Allah (There is no God worthy of worship except Allah and Muhammad is his messenger).

About a week after I reverted, I chose to wear hijab. Wearing hijab is a jihad (struggle) on it’s own. I got many comments from people. A lot of people were shocked and didn’t know what to think. Some Christian girls who claimed to be my friends tried to make me feel ashamed because they knew I was just starting to become a role model for some of the younger girls with in my church. They would give me dirty looks and pull attitude with me. A few girls from my school followed me around on my spare and pointed at me laughing. Some other girls told me to my face that it was offensive that I had put the hijab on and that I needed to take it off. I was very lonely for a few months and no one really approved of my choice of becoming Muslim. It even got to the point where my teachers were saying comments in class like, “who would choose to be Muslim knowing the stereotypes and everything?” Another teacher did nothing when a boy in my English class called me a terrorist. School was one story. My family was another…For the first little while, my mother didn’t know what to think. She was shocked and confused. She would say things like,”I raised you as a Christian, where did all those morals go??” I realized that I wasn’t the only one who had misconceptions. Slowly but surely my mother adjusted to the changes and now she accepts it. Alhamdulillah (Praise be to God) AllahuAkbar!(God is the greatest) I have made many friends and I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. I still get some weird looks and comments about wearing hijab but I have learned to walk around confidently with this veil on my head. I know that instead of following my worldly desires and pleasing the world, Im pleasing Allah (swt) and that is what matters!

See Also

Politics and State Control Over the Hijab

Alhamdulillah (Praise be to God) for Islam and Alhamdulillah(Praise be to God) for everything that has happened. Through Islam, I learned how to forgive and if it weren’t for that one traumatic experience, I wouldn’t be a Muslimah today. So Alhamdulillah (Praise be to God) for everything.

Jezak Allah khair! Thank you for reading my story sisters…remember! Never give up hope and always set your intentions to please Allah (swt) Allah performs miracles every day and he is Ar-Rahman (the most merciful).