By Hajja Kaureen (Davao, Philippines)
I started wearing the hijab in 1999 but there were times when I would take it off and flaunt my trendy hair. I was not born a Muslim but converted out of love and marriage which now I believe is the turning point of my life. Allah wanted me to find peace through faith and it has guided me on my every day life.
Allah paved the way for me and since coming home from the Hajj (pilgrimage) last October, I do not leave the house without my hijab on. It made me understand that I am a woman in this dunya (world) and I serve only Allah and I have to heed Prophet Muhammad’s teachings – A woman needs to cover up and be modest for her own good.
Yes, people stare at someone with revealing clothing and styled hair. But when you die, woman, will that bring you closer to God? That was in my head ever since my stay in Madinah and Makkah for the Hajj. Will Allah be pleased with me? Will my husband love me more? Will my Christian family like the new me?
In my heart, there is only one thing that I value. What will become of me on the day of judgment? I fear therefore I obey, I submit, and I surrender myself.
My hijab and my abaya (long over garment) is keeping me on the right track. My prayers, so far, has been answered. My stresses has been relieved. I feel beautiful in my own special way.
Discrimination? Oh yes plenty! I was belittled for wearing the hijab but it did not stop me. Taxi drivers refuse to take me to where I want to go. Security guards at malls stop me and take a long time searching my things. Some people even raise their eyebrows and talk to me as if I am uneducated! I fought, sab’r (stay patient), I struggled. As long as it is not Allah who will discriminate but only people in this dunya for my choices, then, I am ready…
My simple explanation to those who ask me why I cover up?: I WANT TO BE LIKE MARY (Mother of Jesus (PBUH)) WHO WEARS THE ABAYA AND HIJAB AS WELL. You can see her in the Christian pictures wearing such, right? And then, I stop and smile.