By Sumaiya Rabeya
The decision to wear a hijab alone is scary in today’s world. When the hijab is “amplified” by the niqab or face cover, it’s nerve-racking at first. While there are so many platforms to talk about the prejudices hijabi women face, not many niqabi women have yet spoken about their individual experiences, so here it is:
From both Muslims and non-Muslims, I get questions like, “What’s the meaning of taking pictures when we can only see your eyes?” or “Why bother leaving the house if you have to cover so much?” Little by little, in everyday situations, comments like these eat up my energy.
However, maybe these reactions come from not understanding the etiquettes of how to treat me. Here are six suggestions from me, a niqabi, to my brothers and sisters, Muslims and non-Muslims…whoever wishes to make me feel welcome:
1.If you are planning a lunch or dinner where a niqabi is invited, please make sure to set up an arrangement where she can eat in peace, without any males in sight. This is one of the most common and awkward circumstances. People welcome me by saying, “Come sit, come eat!” And I wonder, how can I politely refuse to open my niqab in front of these gentlemen? And then, there are those over-enthusiasts who tell the men, “Hey get out of here, she needs to eat!” That just makes me want to crawl into a tent and never visit them again.
2.All you need as a host is to simply find a corner for “sisters only.” Even many sisters who don’t wear niqab or hijab may prefer to eat only with other sisters. The host can simply say these corners will be for sisters and the brothers will most likely understand.
3.If you are asking to take a picture of me, do not expect me to reveal my face for it. I won’t know which pictures will end up on whose social media and for what public. The niqabi likes her privacy and prays that you respect it. Also, some sisters, niqabi, hijabi or not, might just not like taking pictures.
4.Just like hijab or any other clothes, niqab can be worn in a variety of different styles. These styles can also be influenced by cultures, comfort levels and/or personalities. I, for instance, wear niqab with colorful dresses and stretch the corners of my hijab to form a niqab. There are women who choose to wear only black and tie a separate cloth over their mouth. There are people who wear jilbab or chador like in Iran, or a blue over piece like in Afghanistan. No style, in any shape, form or philosophy, is more superior over the next.
For example, I have been told to only wear black because it is considered most “pious.” Others might consider another color because black niqabs are associated with extremists…terrorists. I know many Afghan sisters who love and adore cultural garb, but are too afraid to wear them out of fear of how they will be treated. Niqab is part of me. It represents my taste, culture, creativity and my faith, but I am not wearing it to prove my “level of piety” to anyone, but to Allah.
5.Wearing niqab doesn’t mean we have to maintain a specific and identical code of conduct. Some sisters do speak to the opposite gender while others do not. Some avoid public gatherings while others attend them.
6.You can talk to me, get to know me, the person behind the veil. As a result, my niqab might or might not make more sense to you, but my personality will transform the way you see me.
I have always been this outgoing person and being a niqabi empowers me. I feel like this superhero whose face no one can see, but I’m looking out for everyone else. I feel like a princess in her ornamented carriage whom the commoners can’t sneak a peek at. I feel like a VIP hiding herself from the paparazzi. Regardless, tackle prejudices especially when inviting a niqabi over:
“And hold firmly to the rope of Allah all together and do not become divided. And remember the favor of Allah upon you – when you were enemies and He brought your hearts together and you became, by His favor, brothers.” Surah Al-Imran:103
About author
Sumaiya Rabeya is a researcher and content writer. She is the co-founder of a Malaysia-based media-production company. Sumaiya is also a community volunteer, actively working on various projects related to Islamic dawah, social engagement and women. Born in 1989, she graduated with a degree in Politics and International Relations and is currently pursuing her Ph.D. in Gender Studies. Moreover, she has been working as a media content writer for over a decade. As a Bengali young mother, she feels responsible in creatively contributing to society.