By Sana Khan
For me, Ramadan is a month of rahma (mercy) during which we fast from dawn to sunset, perform extra acts of ibadah, give to charity and feast over a beautifully spread ‘Ramzan Dasterkhwaan’ (food). It is a time to thrive in our community spirit where we invite one another and break our fast and pray together. Every Ramadan brings back memories of wonderful iftar times with family and a delectable buffet of dishes. Fruit chat (fruit salad), Rooh Afza Sherbet and pakoras (fritters) are my favorites!
Back in India, I filled myself with all of these at iftar time and then, struggled to keep my eyes open during Taraweeh salah (the recommended prayer in Ramadan).
I recall designing my Eid outfit and having it stitched by none other than the dressmaker, who was more in demand during Ramadan than the Imam (religious leader) of the mosque.
There was a special Ramadan bazaar, where people went after prayers, to buy desserts and breads. Those same people preferred to work at night while managing their prayers in between nap times during the day.
As I grew older and moved locations for education and employment purposes, my understanding of Ramadan evolved. It was the ‘dasterkhwaan’ which disappeared first, as finding something to eat while studying and fasting at the same time, became a priority. There was very little energy left to cook or plan a special spread. Sometimes, even that community spirit was missing. While working, the iftar spread was shrinking every year, though my brother and I supplemented it with special Ramadan delights from the neighborhood’s Muslim market.
When I moved to work abroad, the meaning of Ramadan changed dramatically; there was no family, no community and there were few people with whom I could share my iftar. The fasting hours were much longer; however, I still held onto the spirit of ‘dasterkhwaan’ by cooking for myself, while pampering the little girl within me. How did I fill the void inside of me?
Rather than the typical way of looking at Ramadan, I used the time to reflect. Even without my family, a sense of community, the necessity for Eid clothing or the time spent preparing meals for iftar, Ramadan was still Ramadan. What’s left is now and what’s gone is the Ramadan of my childhood, to which I kept subconsciously comparing my new Ramadan traditions. Regardless, I still have my lovely nostalgic memories, but they no longer control my Ramadan joy.
In my new equation of Ramadan and me for many years now, it has been improving: it has gone from some days of feeling burdened or tired during the long fasting hours and sometimes, missing out on socializing or traveling, to embracing that Allah doesn’t burden us with Ramadan; rather, Allah provides us with a lifestyle that teaches us discipline.
Although Ramadan is difficult for our nafs (self/psyche/ego), it nourishes our souls and hearts.
Overall, Ramadan is a powerful reminder of what we can achieve in a single month of fasting, abstinence and reflection; it is absolutely necessary for our spiritual growth to expand beyond the limitations of our minds.
If we can abstain from that which is halal for us, for long periods of time for a month, how difficult would it then be for us to abstain from that which is haram for the rest of the year…for the rest of our lives? To connect with our Creator, all we need to do is set an intention, pray and keep Ramadan in our hearts even when the month is over.
About the Author
Sana Khan is a Motivational Speaker, Writer and Coach. Moreover, Khan has attained her engineering degree from Shobhit Institute of Engineering and Technology (now a Deemed University) and Dr. APJ Abdul Kamal University (former UPTU) in India. She has an MA in International Business from EAE Business School in Barcelona Spain and UPC Catalunya, Spain. Khan has recently written a motivational eBook entitled, “Dreamcatcher Framework.” She has also co-authored a spiritual anthology called, “Pause and Pen.” When she is not reading or writing, she prefers to nature-walk or sip coffee with her husband and son in Belgium.
Website: www.talkwithsana.com
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