1.5 years ago I started practicing Islam properly. And by now my iman (faith) has increased, Alhamdulillah. I have become really passionate about practicing my religion and this Ramadan I wanted to start wearing the hijab. But there was one problem; my dad is an alcoholic. Alcohol has such a big grip on him that he rather hate everything that will keep him away from it, including Islam. When he is in a drunk state, it makes him say and do things he will later regret…maybe regret. He calls hijab and beard extremism, but dares to call himself Muslim.
Despite these huge errors I know his addiction is a trial from Allah and therefore I’ve tried to love him anyway. This means I have refrained from wearing proper Islamic clothing to have the possibility to have a relationship with him. But time went by, and his addiction got worse. He is acting like a child, acts innapropriate in front of his children and is a burden to his parents because they worry sick for him. I tried to make it work even though he has done me wrong so many times, all my life until my birthday this Spring. He came home drunk and during our brief discussion he said  that if I cover myself I am not his daughter anymore and he would throw me out of the house.
I’ve told my mother several times that this Ramadan I want to start wearing the hijab, In sha Allah, but she begs me to delay until I move away from home. She is practicing as well, but really fears the reaction my father  towards her and my 3 other siblings. When we discuss hijab she always replies “we have had this discussion a hundred times before, please understand”. My mother loves me unconditionally, so every time I have to give in and say I will wait with the hijab so she can relax. I truly hate to see her worried, it kills me. But every single time my mother is relieved, my soul is in pain. Because I feel like I truly need to use this opportunity, start wearing the hijab this ramadan. I can not explain it in any other way than that my soul longs for it, needs it, craves it. I can’t go a minute without a guilty conscience, and I feel sick internally. I know everything happens for a reason, but I really struggle to understand what Allah wants me to do in this painful situation. How can I wear the hijab this Ramadan without causing my father to make it a living hell for my family?
Like mom said: I will leave in sha Allah, but they have to stay and face my father. I am torn what should I do?” This was the story I posted briefly a month ago on World Hijab Day facebook fan page, and so I thought I wanted to update you about the situation. I finally decided to tell my dad about my decision, and he reacted just like I feared he would. He said I’m no longer his daughter and he wanted both me and my mother out of the house.
Apart from that I have had everybody else’s support so far. And after Allah my mother is my greatest source of strength and support. Though I have a lot of family who have promised to help me out. I pray to All-Mighty that he rewards them all for their support and efforts, especially my mother. And of course I pray to Allah that he rewards every single one of you who has made dua (prayer) Â for me as well. Â Anyway! I am now officially a hijabi and the battle is on. JazakAllah Khair for everything!
-Anonymous
Sister, you are so extremely strong that I’m touched and I hope that your strength does not end here, but that it stays with you for the rest if your life. You are probably not much older than me and I doubt that I would ever have the strength that you have, but inshAllah, I will be able to come close. You have inspired me so deeply and I’m sure you would inspire thousands more, so thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
Don’t worry everyone have problem in the family . I have similar problem with my husband Allah test believers So we need to be strong and pass that test. Allah will always test as, I will never gave up my faith , i been tested on my job they don’t like hijab, but i told them its my faith and they order special hear cap for me to cover my neck and hear . I will do anything for Islam. Allahu Akber Islam in my heart.
It baffles my mind some brothers have something more precious then a bank full of gold inside their homes and should cry endlessly from gratitude to have such great mothers and daughters. Other brothers who struggle to pull their wife, daughter to the deen, or even marry a righteous person would endlessly make dua for a some miracle for guidance of their family or getting married. We should not take these type of sisters for granted. They are the gems of the community and more precious then banks filled with gold. Allah knows best who to give to and who to test. May Allah make your situation easy sister.
There is a Dua you can say for anyone to stop drinking and there a steps as well with it not major ones. Look it up it should help for anyone who doesn’t know about this.
MaasyaAllah.. This is your jihad sister. May Allah bless you for all your efforts and make it easy for you : please recite this doa of Rasulallah.. “Rabbi yaasir wa la tu ‘aasir” (Oh Allah, make it easy and not make it hard)..
Rabbana aatina fiddunia hassanah, wa fil aakhirati hassanah, wakina azab annaar (Oh Allah, grant us in this world good things, and in the next life good things, and keep us away from hell fire).. ameen
May god bless you. I belief that your decision was the right thing to do. In fact you can’t please everyone but you should always aim to please Allah. You are a very brave girl and I’m sure god will award you for your commitment. congratulations for being a hijabi 🙂
I understand your problem,and thanks for sharing with us. I was also in that kind of situation except that both my parents are not alcoholics,they are sober and nonmuslims. It was so difficult, worst of all I am th only child they have,it was difficult after i became a Muslim so much that i migrated to Egypt to cool the fire, for 2 years my parents were not talking to me. I had to choose between pleasing Allah and them, but as a muslim your Allah comes first. This is a test for you and you have a choice of pleasing either Allah or your parents. Remember that you shouldn’t disobey your parents except when they want you to disobey Allah. So you choose, may Allah male it easy for you.
Sister, i really understand your problem, i was also in the same situation except that both my parents are non Muslims and none of them is or was alcoholic, i had to choose pleasing them or Allah, i ended up migrating to Egypt to cool the fire, this is a test from Allah and it is up to you whether you want to pass it by pleasing Him or your parents. Remember that you shouldn’t disobey your parents except if they direct you to disobey Allah, the choice is yours, may Allah make it easy for you