By Nodi Ahmed
Hijab is a scarf or clothing that Muslim women use to cover their hair. But hijab is not just to cover our hair. It is instead a symbol of modesty. For Muslim women, the hijab is an expression of faith. Therefore, it becomes part of our identity. For people who don’t understand the purpose of the hijab, it is seen as a symbol of oppression, whereas for Muslims, it is seen as something empowering. I started wearing my hijab when I was 18 and about to start my first year at Karolinska Institutet in Sweden.
I have always been surrounded by a practising Muslim community in Sweden and had, for a long time, contemplated starting to wear the hijab. A few months prior to wearing the hijab, I travelled to a Muslim country where I wore the hijab full time. I have always been a proud Muslim, but I felt I would not be able to hold the responsibility of hijab. To me, the hijab has always been associated with modesty, as the hijab is a symbol of modesty. When I was in a Muslim country, it felt like covering my hair was the right thing to do. However, as soon as I got back, I did not wear the hijab, but my lifestyle got more modest. Not just the way I dress but the way I act as well.
The courage I had gained by travelling to a country that helped me remember the beauty of Islam slowly vanished once I was back. However, I had started implementing small changes to my lifestyle, such as my way of speaking. But the reason behind not beginning to cover my hair then and there was because I noticed how judgemental people could be. Even though Sweden has become better at accepting Muslims, most people still live in their presumptuous bubble and see hijabi women as oppressed. I have seen scenarios in Sweden where hijabi women have been limited just because they choose to represent their religion. Hijabis are part of a minority group in western countries, and hijabis in the west hold a greater responsibility as we are often part of the first interaction some have with Muslims. We are the face of Islam to the outside world.
And my battle was with myself. I feared being put in situations where I could not do justice to my religion. I felt my Imaan was not strong enough and could only pray that Allah SWT strengthen my faith to set aside my social issues.
Soon enough, I realized that there was no wrong or right time. It is more about when you feel like you have that your imaan is so strong that you feel that the reason for you covering your hair is solemnly for the sake of Allah SWT. It was a summer day, and I was about to go outside to meet an old friend after praying dhuhr, and It felt wrong not to cover my hair. Hence I took one of my mother’s hijabs and wore it outside. Then and there, I realized that my connection to my faith was greater than my fear of trying to follow social norms. That same day I felt as if all my insecurities had vanished. What people thought about seeing me in my hijab no longer mattered. I knew that I started to wear my scarf for the sake of Allah SWT, and what other people thought of me no longer mattered.
Islam is a way of life, and I am proud to represent my religion and empower others. I thought I would have to change my lifestyle, but being modest does not mean we have to change entirely but rather embrace what we represent. As hijabi, we are the face of our religion; in today’s society, that’s not always the easiest responsibility to hold. We live in a society where people are going to have opinions. Some come up and ask, whereas others state their opinion and leave. Starting to wear the hijab taught me about my surroundings as well. Once I began to cover my hair, I received comments such as “you are never going to be able to get a job.” I replied, “I put my faith in Allah SWT.” Muslim women are viewed as oppressed, and we will naturally face such people. But in those moments, we must represent the humble confidence of our Muslim ummah to help others understand us better.
My mother always said losing patience is like losing a battle, something that can setback our ummah a long way. A struggle that we are constantly fighting together where I pray that Allah SWT guides everyone to the right path. Ameen!
About the Author:
Nodi Ahmed is of Bengali descent who was born and raised in Eskilstuna, Sweden. She is a medical student at the Karolinska Institute.