Confession of a former drug addict

By Amena Cox (UK)

I get asked quite often why I reverted and what lead me to Islam? So I thought I’d tell you all.
I didn’t have a good start in life. I was abandoned in a crack house at  the age of 14 months. I was there for 2 days before I was found. I was passed around the care system for a while before I was placed with a loving foster Mom. I always yearned for my real mother; she was allowed to see me the 1st Saturday of every month, but she would never come. I’d be sad, waiting for her looking out the window. I would be heartbroken but my foster mom would always be there to hug me when I felt rejected.

At 14, I turned into a “wild child.” I started smoking, drinking, and hanging around with the wrong people. I started running away from home to my birth mother but she would reject me and shut the door in my face, but as always, my foster mom held me close and loved me.

At 17, I started going to the local pub. I was naive. I got pregnant with my son Dylan at the age of 17. I raised him alone. He is now 18 and has never met his dad. When I was 19, I met a Muslim man and got pregnant with Omar. His dad has always been in and out of his life. Omar is now 15. I spent most my 20’s feeling lost and unwanted, so I drank more, smoked more weed to forget about life.

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Last year in September, I went to a 24 hr rave (party). I think I lasted about 18 hrs. I just sat in my room and cried and cried and asked God for help for strength, for guidance. I must have passed out from drinking. When I was awake a few hours later, I was overwhelmed with a feeling. I knew what I wanted. I knew what I had to do and for the first time ever, I felt strong enough. I detoxed my body. It took about 3 days. I was shaking and as I was detoxing myself and trying to better myself, I found out I had been betrayed in the worst way possible; stabbed in the back by people who I thought cared about me. I was devastated. All I wanted was a drink but I didn’t. I was so proud of myself.

Once I knew my body was clean from drink and drugs, I took my Shahadah (testimony of Islamic faith). Wow! Amazing! I was free. I felt new. I felt relieved that I would never pick up another drink. Islam to me is more than a religion. I believe it really saved my life.