By Dr. Noshin Saloojee
Year after year, I never fail to mention Ramadan as hands down my favorite month of the year, and I cannot reiterate it enough. It brings me a sense of peace and calmness that no other month can provide. But this year was different; my nafs (Arabic for soul) yearned for Ramadan more than ever before.
Three years ago, when I was told I had breast cancer, my whole world turned upside down. At such a young age, it was a devastating blow that shook me to my core. But looking back on that time now, I realize that my diagnosis was truly what I call a miracle from Allah, the Giver of Peace. It may sound strange to call a cancer diagnosis a miracle, but for me, الحمدلل it was exactly what I needed to fully embrace His love and become closer to HIM than I ever had before.
Cancer wasn’t a punishment, but a gift from Allah (SWT) that changed my life in ways I never could have imagined. It taught me the true meaning of patience and trust in Allah’s plan, and it brought me closer to my family and community. Through cancer, I have met the most incredible people. They’ve helped me feel better, given me hope, and shown me the beauty of the human spirit.
In addition, Ramadan has become a deeply spiritual time for me, a time when I reflect on the blessings in my life and give thanks for all that Allah (SWT) has given me. Over the past three years, my health has progressively worsened. At the beginning of 2022, it transitioned from breast cancer to metastatic breast cancer in my brain. I’ve become quite immobile, in a constant wheelchair, and can only manage a few steps at a time. Recently, I’ve noticed my decline has accelerated. This is where this year’s Ramadan has touched me emotionally in a beautiful way. In all honesty, I did not believe I would witness the mercy of this month with the intense decline I see in myself. Then, however, this ayah from the Qur’an came to my mind, and I prayed for guidance: “My Lord! I am truly in desperate need of whatever provision You may have in store for me” (Quran 28:24), and the Most Loving answered my dua.
This year, I have been mainly focused on Islamic and Ramadan-inspired knowledge, and I have been doing a lot of administrative work in terms of Ramadan and cancer-related articles. Although I am not much help around the house, I have been writing posts, blogs, and stories for my personal and breast cancer Instagram accounts. I started by increasing my ibadah and watching YouTube videos by scholars, who have been incredibly helpful in increasing my knowledge. One of the 30-Day Lecture Ramadan series from 2022 that I watched was about Maryam. I haven’t been able to fast for the previous three years, but I still have the niyyah or intention to do so. I have faith that The Most Forgiving will forgive me إِنْ شَاءَ ٱللَّٰهُ for being unable to fast. I must take medication at regular intervals, which I cannot delay. I also have chemotherapy infusions. To boost my immunity, I need to stay hydrated and well-fed. I’ve tried fasting in the past while ill, but it didn’t go very well. Allah (SWT) is The Healer to those that are sick انشاءالله. I am thus eligible to make a donation to those in need; it is called Fidya. Other than myself, my illness has also affected my family. Even though I have my medical degree, I still rely entirely on my father for support, particularly financially. My mother is the one who takes the brunt of my burden, especially during Ramadan. She has Ramadan preparations on top of the daily tasks of bathing me, taking me to the bathroom, and taking me to my every appointment. I often feel guilty, but my parents and sister have reiterated that this is their test from Allah. They believe they will be rewarded, and we will be reunited in the hereafter, Insh’Allah.
The last 10 days of Ramadan are the most significant, and this is when our duas, sacrifices, and prayers should significantly increase. One of the last 10 nights, most likely an odd night, is Laylatul Qadr, also known as the ‘Night of Power.’ The virtue of this blessed night is when Allah bestowed the Quran upon humankind as a gift and a source of guidance. The best dua for this night, according to Prophet Muhammed (ﷺ), is “O Allah! You are the One who forgives greatly and loves to forgive, so forgive me.” The Night of Power holds immense reward for those who seek forgiveness and sabr, including for those on a cancer journey like mine.
Ramadan has been my oasis of calm and peace in these challenging times. While my cancer journey has been tough, it has also drawn me closer to Allah (SWT) and taught me the true meaning of patience, faith, and love.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Noshin Saloojee is a medical doctor who graduated from the Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland and the Medical University of Bahrain. She joined the General Medical Council in the UK but gave up her registration as she has been diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer in her brain. She has been living in Saudi Arabia for the past 25 years, except for the years she studied in Bahrain and the first 6 years of her life. She is a proud South African. Her parents still live in the Eastern Province of Saudi Arabia, where she resides with them for treatment. Her dear sister lives in South Africa, but for now, she is staying in Saudi Arabia to spend as much time as possible with Noshin.
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