The decision to wear a hijab alone is scary in today’s world. When the hijab is “amplified” by the niqab or face cover, it’s nerve-racking at first.  While there are so many platforms to talk about the prejudices hijabi women face, not many niqabi women have yet spoken about their individual experiences, so here it is:

From both Muslims and non-Muslims, I get questions like, “What’s the meaning of taking pictures when we can only see your eyes?” or “Why bother leaving the house if you have to cover so much?” Little by little, in everyday situations, comments like these eat up my energy.

However, maybe these reactions come from not understanding the etiquettes of how to treat me. Here are six suggestions from me, a niqabi, to my brothers and sisters, Muslims and non-Muslims…whoever wishes to make me feel welcome:

1.If you are planning a lunch or dinner where a niqabi is invited, please make sure to set up an arrangement where she can eat in peace, without any males in sight. This is one of the most common and awkward circumstances. People welcome me by saying, “Come sit, come eat!” And I wonder, how can I politely refuse to open my niqab in front of these gentlemen? And then, there are those over-enthusiasts who tell the men, “Hey get out of here, she needs to eat!” That just makes me want to crawl into a tent and never visit them again.

2.All you need as a host is to simply find a corner for “sisters only.”  Even many sisters who don’t wear niqab or hijab may prefer to eat only with other sisters.  The host can simply say these corners will be for sisters and the brothers will most likely understand.

3.If you are asking to take a picture of me, do not expect me to reveal my face for it. I won’t know which pictures will end up on whose social media and for what public. The niqabi likes her privacy and prays that you respect it. Also, some sisters, niqabi, hijabi or not, might just not like taking pictures.

4.Just like hijab or any other clothes, niqab can be worn in a variety of different styles. These styles can also be influenced by cultures, comfort levels and/or personalities. I, for instance, wear niqab with colorful dresses and stretch the corners of my hijab to form a niqab. There are women who choose to wear only black and tie a separate cloth over their mouth. There are people who wear jilbab or chador like in Iran, or a blue over piece like in Afghanistan. No style, in any shape, form or philosophy, is more superior over the next.

For example, I have been told to only wear black because it is considered most “pious.” Others might consider another color because black niqabs are associated with extremists…terrorists.  I know many Afghan sisters who love and adore cultural garb, but are too afraid to wear them out of fear of how they will be treated. Niqab is part of me. It represents my taste, culture, creativity and my faith, but I am not wearing it to prove my “level of piety” to anyone, but to Allah.

5.Wearing niqab doesn’t mean we have to maintain a specific and identical code of conduct. Some sisters do speak to the opposite gender while others do not. Some avoid public gatherings while others attend them.

6.You can talk to me, get to know me, the person behind the veil. As a result, my niqab might or might not make more sense to you, but my personality will transform the way you see me.

I have always been this outgoing person and being a niqabi empowers me. I feel like this superhero whose face no one can see, but I’m looking out for everyone else. I feel like a princess in her ornamented carriage whom the commoners can’t sneak a peek at. I feel like a VIP hiding herself from the paparazzi. Regardless, tackle prejudices especially when inviting a niqabi over:

“And hold firmly to the rope of Allah all together and do not become divided. And remember the favor of Allah upon you – when you were enemies and He brought your hearts together and you became, by His favor, brothers.” Surah Al-Imran:103

About author 

Sumaiya Rabeya is a researcher and content writer. She is the co-founder of a Malaysia-based media-production company. Sumaiya is also a community volunteer, actively working on various projects related to Islamic dawah, social engagement and women. Born in 1989, she graduated with a degree in Politics and International Relations and is currently pursuing her Ph.D. in Gender Studies. Moreover, she has been working as a media content writer for over a decade. As a Bengali young mother, she feels responsible in creatively contributing to society.

The post The Six Etiquettes of How to Treat Me appeared first on World Hijab Day.

“Why do you hate me?” I was caught off guard with that question. I looked toward this 20 something-year-old man, whom I had known for about a year. He was the supervisor in charge of assigning cleaners to my home. The cleaners were girls so I did not cover my face with a niqab around them. But, when their manager came to pick them up, I always stepped aside to put my niqab on and then, casually converse with him.  He noticed this before, but never mentioned anything or asked any questions. However, when my mother was visiting me one time and upon seeing the man, scurried off into another room, he became utterly disheartened. “Why do you hate me?” He asked. “Why do you hide your face when I come? Your mom doesn’t even want to say ‘Hi’ to me. Is it because I am not Muslim? Do you guys not talk to people who are non-Muslim?”

“No, no. Because you are a guy,” I said. He looked puzzled.  His prompt question gave me new insight into things. It made me realize how, as a niqabi woman, I held the entitlement that everyone should be aware of my practices and respect my choices by default!

I started my niqab when I was a teenager. And the attacks werealmost immediate. As a super ambitious girl, it was frustrating to keep proving my self-worth only because I had an extra layer of clothing on me. I had to amplify my self-confidence as my self-defence. However, ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلَّٰهِ‎ as I tried to defeat one hurdle after another, my self-confidence boosted, but unfortunately, transformed into fragments of arrogance. Every encounter in a non-familiar environment was a war. I needed to win, I needed to make them accept me. This journey made me lose a very crucial element of my faith: empathy. I forgot that not all people are ignorant, some simply…don’t know.

Recently, a hijabi friend of mine shared with me her experience of talking to a man who was practicing his full hijab, that is lowering his gaze while talking to her. And it made her uncomfortable. See, how do we women feel when the table is turned?  Are we really accepting the other gender, the men who practice their full hijab? Do we feel uncomfortable if a man stares down while talking to us because we are not used to or familiar with it? That may give us a taste of our own medicine. Men or women from other faiths may feel uncomfortable with our hijab/niqab. And we need to accept that with empathy, not as bigotry. As practicing people, we have a bigger responsibility to be more understanding. To deal with such incidences with care and knowledge. Once I took the time to explain my reasons to move aside and cover up, the man was not only humbled, but also amazed and perhaps, when he encounters another niqabi next time, his approach will be more different and more gentle. Therefore, we need to pack our vocabulary with words people can understand and associate with. After all, we people are, subconsciously, a team, learning how to communicate with and understand each other.

In fact, it is written in line 34 of “Surah As Sajda,” in the Qur’an, “And not equal are the good deeds and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better, and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he were a devoted friend.”

Empathy is faith and faith is empowerment.

About Author

Sumaiya Rabeya is a researcher and content writer. She is the co-founder of a Malaysia-based media-production company. Rabeya is also a community volunteer, actively working on various projects related to Islamic dawah, social engagement and women. Born in 1989, she graduated with a degree in Politics and International Relations and is currently pursuing her Ph.D. in Gender Studies. Moreover, Rabeya has been working as a media content writer for over a decade. As a Bengali young mother, she feels responsible in creatively contributing to society.

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Defining freedom, a lecturer once told my class a short story: a man was walking on the street with both his hands outstretched on his sides. As he walked, his right hand accidentally hit a passer-by. This passer-by became  enraged and asked him why he was walking with his hands outstretched. The man replied, “I’m exercising my freedom.” The passer-by said, “Your freedom stops where my nose starts!”

This is a practical example of how all of us really want to co-exist. But, what do we tell the world? The people, who are so concerned about the rights of certain groups of society, usually forget to acknowledge the other half of the story. In other words, they would like to give unlimited freedom to one, while deliberately ignoring the rightful freedom of the other.

While women’s rights activists emphasize the freedom of today’s women, do they also give a yardstick of the “limits” of their freedom? I don’t think so. And while doing this, they prove to the world the limited scope of human intellect. Because on one hand, there are people who’d like to oppress the weaker groups, snatching away basic rights. On the other hand, in their call for freedom, these activists forget anything and everything beyond “rights.”

Many people fail to recognize these two extremes. This is perhaps because they’re not aware of a middle path, which has existed for centuries. It’s not so much about being unaware as much as it’s about choosing to be ignorant despite seeing it happen all the time.

There is a moderate way, which respects the rights and freedom of everyone. That way is called, Islam. Islam acknowledges the rights of men and women, while protecting them. Islam doesn’t let one group be more dominant than the other. It is about balancing the rights of all to create harmony in coexisting, the concept of a cohesive, cooperative Ummah. To create this balance, everyone has been assigned duties, which in turn, become the other’s rights and thus, a chain is formed.

In Surah Noor, Ayah 30-31 of the Qur’an, Allah has decreed laws for men and women: “Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do. And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their head covers over their chests….”

These laws are duties of one, resulting in rights for the other, and vice versa. For example, the duty of men is to lower their gaze and that, in itself, is a right for women. In other words, the right for women is not to be looked at as commodities. While women lower their gaze and observe hijab, that is their duty. In Surah Ahzab, Ayah 59 of the Qur’an, Allah decrees, “O’ Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves [part] of their outer garments. That is more suitable that they will be known and not be abused. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful.” Women’s obedience to Allah makes it easier for the men to avoid the temptation to gaze, thereby avoiding dirty thoughts.

Moreover, wearing a hijab liberates women from the fear of being judged based solely on their looks. Meanwhile, non-hijab women are forced to pay the utmost attention to their outer appearance rather than their intellect. However, hijabi women are sure that their brain and heart (conduct) speak and show even when their body remains hidden. The importance of inner beauty in Islam is evident by the du’a for looking in the mirror: “O Allah, just as you have made my external features beautiful, make my character beautiful.”

The change we’re expecting from the men’s side, that of giving us respect as women, will have to start from within us. We have to elevate ourselves first. Stop being a commodity and you won’t be treated as one. Stop beautifying the outside for outsiders and your inside will beautify you, the real you: “Be the change you want to see in the world,” said Gandhi.

In other words, liberate yourself internally, in the real sense of the word. Give it a try, give yourself the right to be respected.

The post Hijab: Freedom or Oppression? appeared first on World Hijab Day.

I reverted to Islam on  April 24, 2015. And I started wearing the hijab two weeks after I took my Shahada (testimony of Islamic faith). It wasn’t easy for me because my family is against my decision to become a Muslim. One of my daughters even told me that she doesn’t want to have anything to do with me. My mom cried and begged me to leave Islam. But I know Islam is the true religion and I thank Allah that I have been chosen to be one of His servants.

I believe that one day my family will accept me and insha Allah they will be reverted too in Islam. I am proud to be a Muslim and I show it by covering myself and using my hijab.

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Because the attached picture was taken on the 1st of February 2013, it makes it exactly 2 years now since I have donned the Hijab. I clearly remember how excited I was and how painful it was to properly style the long shawl. It felt pretty warm too!

One of the first questions people would ask me was what prompted me to make change in my life, especially when I was known to dress in a quite fashionable manner in my younger days. The transformation was brutal and to some, it came as a real shock!

Well, the decision I made had nothing to do with a Pilgrimage Trip or a Completed Hajj. I had just quit a horrible job at that point in time and felt that the time was ripe to “follow instructions” from the Creator, and stay on the straight path. I didn’t want to be straying from his mandatory requirements anymore.
Besides, I no longer wanted to be “free for all”. So, yeah, I made that call to put on the veil – a decision which came straight from the heart, with absolutely no external pressure from anyone.

I kinda regret I made that call a little late in life – and for that, I’d like to offer some food for thought to some young ladies out there.

Believe it or not, the Hijab doesn’t reduce your attractiveness at all.

The beauty that is in your heart and the light that is in your face, will in fact, radiate more once your hair is properly covered and your body lines blurred. And the bonus is, men will automatically respect your more.
No more whistling and no more nonsensical talks.

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I don’t wear hijab. I practice hijab. My hijab reflects in my attire, behavior, and speech. It’s important to practice hijab, rather than make it a part of everyday apparel. It’s common to simply think of a headscarf when a woman states that she wears hijab. The reality is, men and women are under Islamic measure to practice hijab- which translates to “modesty.” It’s belittling to the beauty and grace of Islam to refer to hijab as only the head covering for women. Hijab, for men and women alike, is a blessing from our Creator. He has ordained the most effective way to protect ourselves from the haraam (forbidden things) that this dunya  (world) holds.

Appreciation of the context of hijab in its entirety will bring back the full beauty hijab gives to Muslim women and men. Alhamdulilah, I began to understand the concept of hijab about a year ago. InshaAllah, I hope to stay strong in my imaan (faith) and pray for nothing but sincere piety and faith for my brothers and sisters in deen (religion of Islam) around the globe.

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I started wearing hijab since I converted to Islam almost 3 months ago, Alhamdulillah (All Praise is due to Allah)! I am living in a non-Muslim country. My conversion to Islam came with a huge social challenge. Everybody looked awkwardly at me when I would go out wearing my hijab. They laughed but I kept going and tried to be stronger. I used to cry, asking Allah (swt) (All-Praised and The Exalted) to keep me on the right path and not even let me think about taking it off.  My hijab is my freedom to be who I want and who I really am. My hijab, even if it’s a piece of material, for me, is my personality, my beauty, and my shyness. My hijab is a part of me. I love my hijab!

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I was born in a Catholic family and had no idea about Muslim religion and beliefs. To be honest, I thought hijab was a way of repression against the women but this last year, I spent a lot of time with many Muslim people. Finally, I realized the true meaning of hijab. I love it and also wear it frequently. Be proud of who you are!!!

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I am originally from Bosnia. But grew up in the Netherlands and did not have a typical Islamic upbringing. However, on a big part, I was informed about many of the beauties of Islam.  Though it wasn’t until a half year ago, after my personal search for the truth and meaning of life, that I have found peace and solace in the remembrance of Allah (s.w.t.) and have since made huge steps to try to secure my bond with Him. Lately, I’ve been thinking of wearing the hijab but I don’t feel as if I’m strong enough to face people in my surrounding…Even though, I love everything the covering stands for. That’s why I want to thank every lovely lady that has shared her story, for you are definitely helping me in the right direction! God bless you, all sisters in faith and humanity.

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It’s amazing, this piece of cloth on my head.

I put it on in the mornings, before I go out, and then take it off when I come home. I put it on, and I take it off. On and off. On and off.

This piece of cloth on my head, it’s amazing.

Some see it as intimidating. As an object which screams out that I belong to a certain religion; a religion that has a lot of negativity surrounding it. But not to forget, there is positivity too. It’s there.

This piece of cloth on my head, it’s amazing.

It has the power to influence some people’s thoughts of me. Some look at me and immediately form perceptions. She is holy. She is religious. She is strict. She is conservative. She is traditional.

Blah.
Blah.
Blah.

This piece of cloth on my head, it’s amazing.

Some see it and cannot believe my background. What? You studied in an international school? What? You went abroad for university? But then, you have an open mind. But, wait, why?

Why?

This piece of cloth on my head, it’s amazing.

I seem to close my open mind with this piece of cloth on my head. At least, that is what some think. Close-minded, open-minded. On, off.

And then there are those who see it merely as what it is. A piece of cloth of my head.

My friends, my family. Those who truly accept me and love me as I am. Same jokes, same laughter. Not a lot has changed. It is what it is. A cloth.

There are strangers too, outsiders. It’s a cloth. No one pays attention to it. Everyone is busy in their own lives. Wear it or not, it really doesn’t matter.

This piece of cloth on my head, it’s amazing.

One and the same, the person wearing this piece of cloth on their head. On or off. They are one and the same.
It’s just a piece of cloth. And yet, it influences so many things.

This piece of cloth on my head, it’s amazing.

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