Last year, World Hijab Day was a sociology class project for me. It opened my eyes to many things. For instance, the first time I ever wore Hijab, I was *spit* on by an Amish woman in my southern small town. This reaction shocked me, and also made me realize how bad the stereotypical label weighed on my Muslim friends’ shoulders.

No one should have to experience this type of hatred, especially in a normal wall-mart everyday setting. When the woman spit on me, I just brushed it off. The symbol I was wearing, my hijab, reminded me to be kind, “I’m sorry you felt the need to do that, I hope you have a blessed day ma’am” I smiled, and walked away not offended. Rather empowered because her facial expression changed. I know that day, at that time, someone’s stereotypical view was changed.  It was through my act of kindness and her rudeness, that did it.

I was raised in a very loving amazing Christian family, but I was always taught to pray to God. God alone. Therefore, I can’t really say I was raised like the ‘normal’ Christians. I never prayed to Jesus as a child, nor worshiped him. Yes, I loved Jesus. But not the way I had loved God. And as a Christian that was very confusing to me throughout my entire life. And this is how I found my religion, this is how I found Hijab, and this is how I found my “Freedom.”

Freedom, through a project, that opened my eyes to the empty answers I had been seeking.  I’ve never felt like I had belonged, I never had the same morals as my friends. I even believed differently than my religious friends. I didn’t even fit in there. And when I learned about Hijab, and learned about what the real Islam was about, I began to feel like I belonged, this was right.

I felt joy, I felt happiness and I felt confidence. I later on began to feel like Islam was the path for me. I later made the choice to convert. But like I mentioned before, the area I live in, has made this extremely difficult for me. I can’t have a normal day in Hijab. There is no normal day without the gawking stares of others. I’m constantly watched and viewed by curious eyes, I am analyzed and judged. A walking pulpit, a walking label. And this weighs heavy on anyone’s shoulders.

I admire the beautiful women who are strong enough to wear Hijab daily, to change a stereotypical label, to show and prove the true colors of Islam. That is beautiful, and I support world hijab for this very reason alone. To admire and respect the strong women who do this. And to bring awareness, for freedom of choice! There are so many reasons to do world hijab day. Whether it be to support women’s rights, whether it be to experience the feeling, or for religious views. There are so many reasons to support world hijab day.  I wouldn’t even know where to start mentioning them.

But as for me, I wear Hijab occasionally. Nonetheless, the urge to wear it daily is overtaking me. It’s a burning desire, a passion, a need.

Supporting our Religious choice to freely wear Hijab, supporting the fact that it is our choice as women to do so if we please. Supporting the women who want to make this choice!

Join me on World Hijab Day Feb 1st, Support Hijab!

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In ninth grade me and this girl I knew were very good friends. Then I went to Pakistan for a few months and when I came back things had changed and we slowly drifted apart. One day I saw her in the bathroom at school and as I was washing my hands I thought “what if I talk to her, what if I say hello how have u been? I really miss her.” I let the opportunity slip out of my hands as she left the washroom and thought “ok next time I see her I’ll talk to her for sure!” That night my dad turned the news on as he did every night after dinner but what I heard was heart breaking. My friend had been hit by a bus after school while she was walking home and she was no longer with us. I went to my room, cried my eyes out and prayed for her soul. It was that night that I decided that I would never put anything off till the next day again. I always wanted to wear the hijab but I’d always say “tomorrow.” It took this tragedy to make me realize that tomorrow is not guaranteed. So the next morning I watched a tutorial on YouTube, put my hijab on, and went to school with my head held high. I will never forget my friend for she taught me this valuable lesson.
إِنَّا لِلّهِ وَإِنَّـا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعونَ‎
“Surely we belong to Allah and to Him shall we return”.

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When I first wore hijab few years back, I still remember how I felt very calm, safe, and almost cried looking myself in the mirror. I thought of how I never appreciated this beauty and modesty Allah has given to every woman for them to take care by obeying Allah’s order. Now, hijab is my best attire and I beg  my sisters out there, let us wear it correctly and meet the conditions of proper hijab described in Surah (Chapter) An Nur (Quran 24:31). Let us please Allah by obeying Him rather than pleasing the people with this non-eternal beauty. Surely, Allah alone gives success in this world and Hereafter. And only Allah knows best.

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I embraced Islam in the year of 1978, Alhamdulillah (Praise be to Allah). I have to admit that the first time I took my shahadah (testimony of faith) in 1978, it was mere lip service  without much ‘real’ commitment but I told myself I got to start somewhere and somehow.

Being a free thinker all the time has not brought me any sense of longing in a literal manner. Brought up in a simple family where life is so free and easy during the early 70’s and poverty was the name of the game but blessed with a very strict father, Alhamdulillah.

As I slowly educated myself about Islam, I became much more committed. I revived my shahadah over and over again in my five daily prayers, Alhamdulillah.

Of course, donning the Hijab had not been easy for me. Initially, I disliked covering my beautiful hair. It took me five years after my conversion to know the wisdom behind hijab. Finally, I started by covering my hair halfway. I was still trying hard.

Unfortunately, even my ‘half’ hijab was very unwelcoming in my family.  I felt like I was playing ‘hide and seek’ game- wearing it quickly when I got out of my house and taking it off quickly when I came back. Thinking back, I really dislike those ‘peek-a-boo’ days.

Now, I am able to don my hijab fully.  Allah (swt) has lightened my path and guided me truly. All praises are due to Him! He is the Greatest! There is none truly worth of worship except Allah and Muhammad is His Last Prophet. Masha’Allah.

Just like a Chinese saying to “Be content when you have your position”.

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I am a revert to Islam. Even before reverting, I started wearing hijab simply because I am fascinated by the beauty of it. Until one day, I started reading and researching about Islam and finally read the Holy book, Qur’an, especially the first surah (chapter) on it. I cried and I can’t explain how I felt that day. The next thing I knew I embraced Islam and it’s been four years now that I’m a Muslim! Alhamdulillah (praise be to God).

I wear hijab at work. Everyone at work asks: what’s the essence of wearing one? They even make fun of it. I answer them back saying “this is obeying the Creator by veiling oneself.” However, I firmly wear it every day. Those scary looks became friendly. I have hard time wearing it from the first day since I’m the first Muslim who wears Hijab at work.  Alhamdulliah, Allah (SWT) gives me strength to continue wearing it with head high beyond the discriminating remarks.

In the coming February 1^st, I will support World Hijab Day by asking some of my officemate to wear one. InshaAllah (if Allah wills), this activity will help others realize that hijab is not just a religious covering but a way of maintaining purity and modesty.

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 I didn’t know what happiness was, until I had finally decided to permanently have the hijab put on. It had been in the moments where I had stared in the mirror with this extra piece of cloth covering my head, that I realized, any sense of security that I had prior to this, was nothing short of an illusion.

Being amongst the very many teenage girls and young women, who savor and classify beauty as something that is constantly seen on the covers of magazines, or models on billboards above, I had fallen victim and had become amongst those who were insecure about how they looked, of which had then begun to affect how I felt as a person.

Many nights were spent struggling to look into mirrors, simply because every time I did, I was never pleased with what I saw staring back. There were always things that I was unhappy with, be it a tiny zit here, a big round nose, there, or a “Why can’t I be as beautiful as that girl?” here…it had become quite the ritual for me.

It was in such moments, with such logics of what the mass media defined, and had thus led me to believe, as beautiful, I had fallen prey to the whims of dunya (world).

My definition of a confident woman had been based upon those who had the guts to adorn short shorts and mid-rif tops. And Wallahi (swear to God), I had envied those women. They were the ones I was secretly wishing, I was more like. The ones I wish I could be.

With those thoughts and wishes, I had made myself believe, that I wouldn’t be able to find a husband, if I were to have the hijab on. I’m already bound to be having troubles finding one, without, how could I possibly find one with it?

But Allahu Akhbar! God is truly Great. You know the saying that goes “The people that come into your life are there for a reason?” Well, Allah Azawajjal had simply showed me just what those reasons were, and at the same time, had placed my fears to rest. He had sent me passing angels, as I have now come to call them, to make me see and understand just how wrong I had been. By the will of Allah, these amazing few had taught me lessons, like no other.

That and amongst all things, had made me realize that the partner I ought to be wanting, should be one that is willing and is able to see, my true beauty; The beauty inside of me, instead of the beauty that the naked eye can see. I’d much rather have someone who respects me enough, and is appreciative of the fact that I am practicing my deen (religion), then otherwise. To be the one that I would need, and to be the one who is able to guide me.

I had finally understood what the meaning of true beauty was. It hadn’t been about having the glossiest hair, or the sharpest of noses. Although very pleasing to the eyes, such beauties were only skin deep. They had been nothing but an illusion of the dunya. None of it was ever permanent. The time will come, when it will all fade. After ten long years, I had finally realized that, no struggle is worth the fading outcome. I had finally learned that confidence doesn’t lie in being daring enough to wear the skimpiest of clothes, rather it’s about being brave enough to cover and protect one’s self from preying eyes, and lust filled chatter. It truly takes greater strength and perseverance, to not flaunt what God has blessed us with.

In short, my perspective of things flipped a whole 180°. My views had changed almost entirely.

But…I still had one thing stopping me.

Truly, this had been my greatest of worries in my days of thinking through my decision on whether or not to wear the hijab.

I had feared, that I would become a hypocrite for there were still so many empty slots for me to fill. And so, how could I possibly become this walking symbol of Islam, when there were so many things that I have yet to make perfect? Because that was how I saw the hijab. It is a symbol of a believing woman. I believed, but I feared it hadn’t been enough. I had convinced myself that I would only wear the hijab, when I was perfect in my deen.

I’ve always been a practicing Muslim, but I don’t think I’ve ever truly understood what it meant to be one. Through learning the major parts of the religion, I hadn’t acknowledged the smaller parts of it. The part that made it what it is. I had chased after the approval of the creations, I had searched through the temporality of the dunya, seeking and hoping, that I would find the peace I so badly longed for. I was ignorant of the words of God. I had heard, but I never truly listened.

I hadn’t realized that by the fact that God had created me as a human, had simply meant that I’m not meant to be perfect. The creation was made, to make mistakes. Take Prophet Adam (PBUH) for example, through his story, we knew that he had made a mistake. And he is a Prophet of God. And Prophets are humans, too. This simply shows that they are not immune to making mistakes. They are not entirely perfect, for perfection is an attribute of the Creator and not His creations.
We as humans could only strive and try to be perfect, but that is all we could ever do. Perfection truly is beyond us.

And so, if I had based my not wearing the hijab on my politically correct reasoning, when will I ever be wearing the hijab, if at all? If not now, then when? If when, then why not now?

Indeed, it is through the people that played a hand in guiding me (by the Will of Allah), and pushing me onto a path much greater, that I finally decided that it was truly time for me to wear the hijab.

Wearing the hijab is still a constant struggle. But for once, it’s a struggle worth fighting through. Because at the end of this road, all I could do, is love my Lord and myself, even more.

“Stop hating on yourself for not being perfect. If God wanted perfection, He would have made you an angel.” – Yasmin Mogahed

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My hijab-wearing journey has been filled with a lot of ups and downs.

I am blessed to be born Muslim and I initially started wearing Hijab when I was 18 – prompted by my then-boyfriend. I felt restricted at the time, like I was forced to, even though I was not. I later realized that I did it for the wrong reasons, therefore it didn’t feel right. Eventually I broke up with my boyfriend and took off my hijab 3 years later.

While a part of me felt free from the expected norms of a Hijabi, my heart constantly felt unease. I fell into worse behavior, neglecting my prayers and taking Allah’s blessings for granted.

Later on I met the man who I now call my husband. A year after we got married, we were blessed with our first born son. He seemed like a miracle, especially after doctors told us it would be difficult for me to conceive.

2 years later, we decided to try for another child. And I found out I got pregnant again on the first of Syawal. What a joy it was. At the time I still did not go back to wearing hijab. My husband is a patient man and he wants me to do it on my own accord. He doesn’t want to force me into it and make me feel resentful towards it.

Later on I realize the second pregnancy was not meant to be. I miscarried at 10 weeks, after weeks of turmoil and not being able to accept that the fetus’ heartbeat was nowhere to be detected.

I took the loss really hard. It affected my work, my relationship with others and I became lost, alone and really withdrawn. Many nights were spent crying to sleep.

While I appreciate the support given by my husband and I am thankful I still have my first born son, I can’t help feeling detached and in my own world, drowning in my sorrows.

And then one day, it just came to me out of the blue while I was at my lowest.

~ Allah The-Almighty can choose to take back anything He wishes. And that which He has given, He can easily take back. ~

I remembered this from somewhere, and though it may not be the exact words from the Quran, I am overwhelmed with emotion and humbled by everything that has happened. That was when I decided to do something with my life.

My husband was away on work and I told myself, if I were to change my life, I should not wait for anything or anyone, or even a special date. That same weekend, I went out and bought nearly a dozen scarfs that would help cover my aurah.

And the very next day, I wore my hijab to work.

At first, I was filled with a little apprehension on how other people would think. Inside, I was still sore from the loss of my pregnancy but somehow I pushed myself to carry on. This time, I am doing it right. This time, I am doing it for myself. This time I am doing it because Allah commands me to.

I feel as if the loss was a way for Allah to remind me that He is always watching over me, and He wants me to return to Him. I started praying again. I started remembering Allah in everything I do. Slowly, but surely, the changes started appearing.

Over time, I no longer feared what others think. I no longer bothered what opinions they had of me. This was constantly in the back of my mind – if Allah is happy with what I do, then nothing else matters. I should not fear the creation, I should fear the Creator.

I started wearing the hijab again but with my old clothes. Then I started wearing looser clothes. Instead of feeling restricted – I felt liberated. I felt freer than I’ve ever felt before – I know that is often said about wearing the hijab, but it is very true. I could not go out a day without it and I told myself, there is no turning back.

The blessings came so unexpectedly, among them, my third pregnancy, and now my second born child, who is such a great blessing for us that I am even more sure of Allah’s mercy and compassion for His creation, MasyaAllah.

I have now worn the hijab again for a little over a year and in spite of all that I went through to get here, I am so very thankful to Allah that He has brought me back to the right path and I pray never to veer away from it ever again. It has brought me so much peace in my heart – the kind of peace that only comes with the satisfaction of knowing that you’re bringing yourself closer to Allah.

I am sharing my story because I know there are a lot of women out there who are unsure about whether to put on the hijab, who have fears and insecurities and need just that little bit of a nudge, or a reminder. Just remember that Allah will always help you as long as you have the right intentions, to do the right thing, InsyaAllah.

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The first time I donned the hijab was back in sixth grade. This was a time when I still had a grasp onto my childhood, but was eager to enter into adolescence. Going to an elementary school where the Muslim population was low, I looked and felt different from the rest of my peers. I was afraid to be judged and be bombarded with questions that I may or may not have known how to answer. Being the only hijabi in my elementary school, my biggest fear was that I would go through this alone. Other students shared common traits with each other, but I felt like that one white rose in a bouquet of red roses. I stood out, which is something that should be appreciated and embraced, but my mind was too young and naïve to accept that.

My peers accepted me for who I was and what I chose to wear, but some may have taken my wearing the hijab as a point to tease me. Once a boy called me the infamous word ”towelhead,” but the funny thing was he was Middle Eastern; this label allowed me to realize that he showed no compassion to me at all and he just gave into the stereotypes. In another instance, a boy who I did not know very well stated in the hallway, ”no hats allowed in school.” He may have been trying to be humorous, but it is also possible that he was misinformed about what a hijab was and believed that I was breaking the rules by wearing it. I’m sure many of my peers thought that if I had the liberty of wearing a hijab, they should be able to wear a hat in school. I am thankful that I was and am allowed to wear the hijab in school and in public.

I entered high school and wearing the hijab became much easier for me. There were some hijabis who went to my school, so being judged happened minimally or not at all. The atmosphere was more inviting. I saw girls who went from being non-hijabis to hijabis in a matter of years. For me, it is beautiful to see others wearing hijab and seeing it not as a symbol of oppression, but one of beauty and modesty. The hijab is often thought of as a piece of cloth that covers beauty, when it actually veers the focus to a woman’s inner qualities and not here physical features.

Now that I am in college, I continue to wear hijab and will wear it until I pass from this world. I have learned that being different is a chance for me to educate others about the hijab and dismiss the false misconceptions that others have. I encourage other girls of all backgrounds to wear a hijab for a day. I encourage them to be that white rose. The experience may not be easy at first, but it gets better! Thank you for reading my story. Inshaallah one day you can tell yours!

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