Today, I am simply here to share with you my personal experience in hope that you may find some meaning and sense of inspiration in what I have to say. As I sat down and attempted to write this several times, I realized how personal my Hijab story actually is because no amount of words can truly do the experience justice. That being said, I’m just going to dive right in.

Raised in a Muslim family, I was brought up with the basic, fundamental principles and values that Islam infuses. I was taught to pray, to fast, to be kind-hearted, generous and to share the Deen of Allah graciously with those around me. As a Muslim growing up amongst Muslims, Islam was my second nature. It was when I entered University that I realized I never really understood what Hijab meant. I often thought that it was just a Muslim woman’s obligation to Allah (SWT), not understanding the true concept of it. I soon came to realize the Hijab was the perfect outlet for women to seek liberation, respect and ultimate freedom from sexual harassment and the likes.

However, like many people, there was a point in my life where I was at an all time low. My Imaan (faith) was unstable. It was at this time in my life, I contemplated on removing my Hijab. I had sometimes felt that wearing Hijab did not allow me to reach my true potential. The harder I tried to fit in, the more frustrated I became. I often felt that I couldn’t participate in certain activities with my Hijab and so this feeling had taken me down a road that I never want to travel on again.

My first and last attempt to remove my Hijab was at an audition for a beauty pageant competition at my University. I decided that this was my first step to becoming an international model so I decided to give it a go. I did audition with my Hijab and was chosen to be among the competing 14 girls. As the competition progressed, my conscience got to me, some of my Muslim friends stopped talking to me and often times, I found myself wearing my Hijab for some of the events and not wearing it for others. This made me feel like the biggest hypocrite in the world. I felt as though I was cheating myself out of who I really was and what I stood for. There were even some Muslim sisters who had spread spiteful rumours about me and shared pictures of me without my Hijab from one of the pageant’s photo shoots. With all of these thoughts racing through my mind, day in and day out, finally I said to myself, “Naballah, look at the big picture!” Now, when I say big picture, I don’t mean next week, or in a few months or even 20 years down the road. I mean the Akhira – the Hereafter. I asked myself a very straightforward question. Who am I trying to please? These strangers who I know not or Allah? I finally convinced myself that it was time for me to take this step closer to Allah, as difficult as it may have seemed at the time. Eventually I withdrew from the competition.

It was at that point that I decided it was time to put some more thought into this whole ‘Hijab’ issue.  And I did. I contemplated the thought of the Hijab, and what it really means to be a Hijabi woman. It was at that very moment that I said, “Allah, I will put this Hijab back on because I believe in my heart that You have asked me to do so. Please guide me and give me the strength to do this.” Now, I can honesty tell you that I have never felt more free or more at peace with myself and the world around me. In all fairness I will be honest and tell you that it wasn’t an easy thing to do when I removed my Hijab. Quite frankly, it was probably the most difficult challenge I’ve had to face in my life. Isn’t it ironic how that works? The things that will benefit us most and that make the most sense are often those we fail to realize or have difficulty accepting. To me, the Hijab not only represents an obligation, modesty, purity, righteousness and protection, but truly is the ultimate state of respect and liberation. Alhamdullilah, I am free! For me, that episode was a defining moment in my life. I believe that Allah (SWT) guides whom He pleases and I was tearfully happy that He had guided me back on the straight path of life, and I’m never going to be lost again.

Looking back on the pageant, I realized it’s really just a way of exploiting women. Giving them false confidence based on “bearing-it-all”. I often ask myself why do these women need to strip down into a bra and underwear (sometimes totally naked with hands hiding parts) to prove their worth? Now that I look back at who I was then, it makes me grateful to Allah (SWT) to see how far He has brought me. For a time, I was confused and somewhat lost, as are many young women – trying desperately to fit in to a society that dictates that beauty is naked, emaciated women on billboards selling perfume and underwear. I recently read that some of those models and actors that I once adored practically have to kill themselves to look the way they do. From face-lifts to lipo-suction. Some even go as far as having their ribs removed so they can have tiny waists! It finally dawned on me that the images being flashed in front of me 24 hours a day could not possibly be true representations women’s liberation. I was convinced that there had to be a simpler answer somewhere.

When I look around today I see so many Muslim women excelling in diverse spheres of life- it would be silly and ignorant to think that you can’t reach your full potential as a Hijabi woman. To my sisters who aspire to or have recently started wearing Hijab and are facing any of the issues that I did, my advice is make Dua (prayer) to Allah (SWT) and seek knowledge to keep reminding yourself that Hijab is your protection and beauty and you ARE just as beautiful if not more with it on. There is nothing sweeter and more fulfilling in this world than Islam and Hijab. It is an honor for me to be a symbol of my religion with my appearance, and of course with my actions. I know it is the best for me to be modest in the way that Allah SWT wants me to be. I encourage any girl who is considering wearing Hijab to READ about it first.  Read the actual verses in Qur’an and their Tafseer and talk to sheikhs or people who are knowledgeable in Islam. And if you wear it, wear it to make Allah please with you, not for anyone or anything else. I know that I am not a perfect Muslim, but I am striving to be a better one, and I hope that I will be one of the good examples of Muslim women. I will not lie and say that wearing Hijab is easy and that Shaytan has never played around with my head. People fail to realize that being from a certain religion or culture doesn’t mean you don’t have the same temptations, desires and feelings. There was anger, frustration and sadness, but in the end there was also confidence, liberation and peace. I discovered who I wanted be and how I wanted people to see me. The Hijab itself doesn’t make me religious or make me do certain things while preventing me from others. To me, it’s a reminder to be a good person and it gives me confidence as a young Muslim woman. I realized that Hijab made me focus on my inner self more. Some people think that veiled women are oppressed, but I feel more empowered than ever, even though I did struggle to come to terms with it at first. It is not easy to wear Hijab, especially in a society that constantly keeps telling us to dress in as little as possible. Trust me; there is nothing the Dunya (world) can give you that Islam can’t. I’ve been there, so take my word! I’ll leave you with some not-so-secret secrets. Yes, I do have hair under this ‘thing’ and it’s black and no, I don’t wear it in the shower, but I can take it off at home. My advice is to keep in contact with sisters or family members who are willing to encourage you and InshaAllah (God willing),  it will get easier for you every day.

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My story started a long while ago; at a time when I put on the hijab and didn’t really get what it was all about. Why does a scarf on my head would please Allah? What’s the connection between covering up and being modest? If Allah loves me, why does He want me to not look ‘attractive’ like other girls? If my hair and my body is a gift Allah gave me by making me a woman, why doesn’t He approve of me to put that out? For a 13 year old teenager, that was the kind of questions going on in my mind. And that was the time when I put it on.

Why did I? Because it felt right. With all the misconceptions and lack of understanding of what this Hijab is, all I knew and felt was that I am a grown up now, and Allah wouldn’t want me to wear it if it wasn’t for my own good. ‘Till this day, I thank Allah for blessing me with it, and I thank Allah for showing me how my Hijab has been the light of my life day after day. Being a hijabi teenager when most of the girls my age were not, I felt unique. When I walked around, all short and covered up, people looked at me…That’s kind of cool, right?

As a 20 year old now, my Hijab makes me feel secure. It feels like Allah is watching over me. Growing up, I’ve always made the following duaa ‘اللهم استخدمني و لا تستبدلني’, and now I know that my prayer was answered when I’ve become a representative woman of this wonderful deen (religion).

Covering up made me feel preserved. Preserved for the one person that would deserve to have that when I get married; and when my father walks me down the aisle to my man inshAllah, I will feel like a wrapped up gift. Hijab is one of the things I’m most grateful for, and I’m so proud to have it as a first step in my grown up life. Trust me when I tell you, extra garment on you has more to it than you can ever imagine.

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I am 24 and recently reverted to Islam. I have been wearing hijab for just over three months now.

I don’t just like my hijab, I love it. It has become such a part of me and I would feel very off without it. The first day that I started wearing it, it just felt so right.

My hijab is not a burden or a pain or a nuisance. It is not hot or itchy. It is not in the way, annoying, or cumbersome. It is not time consuming or ugly. It is not oppressive or restrictive; it does not prevent me from doing anything. My hijab is nothing bad, nothing negative, and nothing harmful.

My hijab is pretty and nice and awesome. It is comfortable, warm, and protective. My hijab is empowering and powerful.

My hijab reminds me that I am always in the presence of Allah swt. It reminds me of my faith and to stay strong in it.

My hijab says please don’t be negative around me; I don’t have room for your darkness. It says make small talk with me. It says I am strong. It says look at me with respect; look at me not my body; have interest in me not my body. It says please refrain from hitting on me because I do not need your remarks.

I would take what I have now over what I used to have any day. People do not hit on me; I do not get cat-calls. I can just go out and not be bothered, or if people talk to me there is no underlying intention.

My hijab lets me know that I am too beautiful, too precious, and too important to be put on display. It tells me that I am something more than I ever realized.

That is why I choose to not only wear, but love my hijab.

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I have been wearing Hijab for approximately four years and I am proud to say “I am a hijabi!” At times, wearing the hijab was challenging and felt degrading to my confidence, but the few challenges that I faced made me bond stronger to my head scarf. Some may say “the head scarf is oppressing women!” But, let me tell you, as someone who is currently wearing the hijab, my head scarf makes me feel stronger and empowering; and I guarantee that other ladies who wear the hijab can say the exact same. Wearing the hijab, however, is not just covering our hair, it can be thought of as a verb. We act upon it everyday when we put a piece of fabric on our head and head out the door. We look up to our role model Marriam (Jesus’ beloved mother), and follow her footsteps by acting with kindness, acting with modesty, and acting with humility – just like the famous saying “kill them with kindness.

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When I put on the hijab and covered up, I wasn’t spending my day worrying about what I looked like. It gives you a sense of confidence that you can only gain through learning to appreciate yourself for more than just your physical appearance. It makes you feel secure in a way that is very difficult to explain. I felt confident about who I was as a person because I knew that’s what people were going to judge me on when I covered up – all they knew about me was based on my eyes, my facial expressions, and the words I said. There was something very empowering about that.

The hijab, for me, now represents something a lot more than just a piece of cloth used to cover your head. It stands firmly as a symbol of equality. A symbol for women who choose not to let men judge them based on their appearances, but rather, forces them to see women for the people they are on the inside. It gives women a sense of value, it gives women a sense of strength, and it allows women to be in control of the way anyone else sees them. In my opinion, that is one of the strongest messages of equality you could send.

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