I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.” Whenever I’m asked to share my hijab story, like the diehard Jane Austen fan I am, her beautifully written passage comes to mind.  Because I know that feeling of discovering that your heart belongs to someone or something else, and try as you might, you cannot recall when it began or what it was like before.

I only have a blurry recollection of the whirling thoughts and warring emotions I felt before making the decision to wear hijab 12 years ago: wonder, doubt, conviction, confusion, hope, insecurity.  My life before hijab has taken on that hazy, dreamlike quality, where you try to remember details about what it was like but can only come up with a handful of fleeting memories. However, I do remember vividly how I felt after.

Pure joy. Glorious light. Like the triumph of winning a thousand races. Like coming up for air after being underwater for so, so long. Like the proverbial shackles of the material world falling off and the massive barrier that was my stress, doubt, and worry evaporating into thin air.  With that first step outside wearing hijab, all at once, I felt free and simultaneously bound closer to Allah in that single moment than I’d felt my entire life.

Alhamdulillah, my journey has been a blessed one and my hijab story has only gotten sweeter with time. I’ve met some of the strongest and most inspiring women along the way, I’ve traveled the world and experienced incredible moments in my hijab, and I’ve achieved so many of my goals, including my lifelong dream of becoming a children’s/YA author.

They say to write what you know. So I’ve written what’s closest to my heart.  My new book, “Hijab is Fab!” is a love letter to hijab for modern times, written from the heart for young women everywhere.  And I’m just getting started!

By Rania Emara

About Author 

Rania Emara is an author of children’s and YA fiction who delights in writing books that help young people discover and celebrate the vibrant culture, traditions, and folklore native to the Middle East, South Asia, and the greater Islamic world.  Her publications include Kareem and the Legendary Musaharaty, Hijab is Fab, The Mighty Head of Moustafa, and she is currently working on her first YA novel. You can connect with her on Instagram. 

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“Don’t you ever feel…. You know…. [hands gesturing around face and neck] like……. You know….”
“Oppressed?” I answered back.
“Yeah?”

I laughed a little. It was nice that someone was concerned for my safety because of all of the stereotypes, but at the end of the day, I wanted to wear it. It was my decision to wear it. No one forced me to wear it.

What is that “it” that I keep referring to? It’s the hijab. The mandatory female Muslim garment worn after puberty in Islam.

After kind of getting asked if I felt “oppressed”, I felt a little awkward because that was the second time someone asked me that question at that time.

“No,” I replied, “it was something I chose to do, believe it or not. If I was oppressed, I would’ve called the police or official authorities to help me out.”

I know that there are people out there that force and oppress females into wearing the hijab (which is something I am completely and strongly against), but sometimes I feel like the “oppressed Muslim girl/woman” is the only image people have when they see Muslim girls wearing the hijab. So I just simply want to start off by saying this:
1) I’m not oppressed
2) I strongly disagree with oppression in general
3) Point #2 also means that I strongly disagree with oppressing females into wearing the hijab

Hijab, to me, is simply my way of practicing my religion. My religion (Islam) doesn’t say to force or to do any of the cruel things as seen on the news. I don’t hate those that don’t wear the hijab, and I don’t go up to them or judge them or do anything.

I still joke, laugh, draw, smile, run, play volleyball, bike, do my push-ups during gym class (which I’m terribly bad at, haha!), and I still go outside and breathe the fresh air.

The idea that females should wear whatever they want is a pretty common idea of liberty and freedom these days. However, when it comes to the hijab, people sometimes forget that it’s also female’s right to wear the hijab, and therefore people continue to judge. I’ve realized that the reason for this is because of how much females cover when wearing the hijab and because of the common ideas and images that are associated with Muslim females. The standard way of wearing the hijab is mentioned in the Qur’an, which states that females are to cover everything but the face and hands in public. Many think that we’re oppressed for not going with the usual fashion trends, when, personally speaking, I still love wearing the hijab.

Overall, I do know that there are females that are oppressed and I hope that the oppressed gain their freedom. At the same time, I also just simply want to show you the other side of the story. Thank you!

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I started wearing my hijab last Ramadan and by far it has been the most liberating thing I’ve ever done in my life. I have been on both sides of the coin. As a woman who was born & raised in a “modern” metropolis like Singapore, religion was always a choice. When I’d gotten old enough to think for myself, I pushed myself away from Islam and God so fiercely that I had then completely lost my way.

I had dressed the way most women dressed in this city. I thought I looked awesome before, because of the ideals of fashion and what I foolishly called “freedom”. If you got it, flaunt it; they said. I always fooled myself into thinking that I wasn’t dressing for men, I was dressing for me. Society tricks you like that. It tells you to flaunt that booty, show them legs, push those girls out because that is “freedom” and that shows your strong femininity. After a while, I realized that I really wasn’t dressing for me. Because if I really was dressing for ME, then I’d be making sure that I looked like that ALL THE TIME. Women don’t realize that they are being pressured to look good and show flesh to fit into society just to be taken as “equals”. After a while, I found it sad that women still needed to be sexualized and think that it actually makes them “equal to men” in freedom.

When I took that huge step to wear the hijab, I had returned to the path of Allah SWT for about 6 months then. I felt like by putting it on, I now had a responsibility. A responsibility to represent Islam the right way. To present Islam as the religion it is and not the religion the world think it is.

When you do something for Allah SWT, Allah will make things so easy for you. I started to notice people speaking to me with a little more respect. No more cat calls or wolf whistles or leering. It was rather empowering…liberating.

But I needed to remember and to constantly remind myself that the hijab should not just be seen as a cloth I put on my head. It is a symbol of modesty, that it is not just about my attire; it extends to my whole demeanor. I don’t and have never thought that a woman’s faith to her one true God was attributed to her dressing, but I realize now the joy and the true freedom the hijab gives me. The hijab protects us more than anything else and I’m much happier wearing it than I was when I wasn’t.

World hijab day is excellent idea because most women in hijab these days are committed to it. We love it and we do it for Allah SWT. It is a commitment to our faith, to our creator, our cherisher, our Lord, our Rabb. Nobody is oppressing us and the world needs to see that we do not need “rescuing” or “freeing”. That’s why this cause is fantastic and I support it a 100% because it will help non-Muslim women see how exactly we feel behind this veil that we choose to wear and Muslim women to realize that this cloth is not merely a cloth; that it means so much more to us and hopefully that will push them towards bettering themselves, in shaa Allah (if God wills).

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