When I first wore my hijab, I did it for fashion. I thought women in hijab look better than those who didn’t wear hijab. I admit I didn’t have much knowledge about Islam, then. I became a muslim through marriage. I was born Catholic. My parents were active members of the church. My conversion was a big blow to them.

Being a hijabi in my country is quite difficult. It made me feel safe but at the same time very much vulnerable. A lot of questions and eyebrows were raised. I experienced the discrimination that my fellow Muslim sisters felt.  That is why many Muslim women in my country do not wear their hijab.

Alhamdulillah (praise be to Allah), my husband has been very supportive. He taught me what I need to know and brought me to seminars of Muslim sisters. Not only was I able to answer questions around me (I am a teacher in a public school of mostly Catholics) but most of all, I was able to satisfy my hunger for knowledge about Islam. That was the  time I realized how important my hijab is. It became my strength, my identity, my constant reminder that I am a Muslimah (Muslim woman).  I should act and live like one. Most importantly,  I am a mere slave of Allah (SWT).

This will be the 5th year of me wearing the Niqab (face veil). I know that my struggle will never stop but as long as I am doing the right thing, with the RIGHT intention, I know Allah (SWT) will always guide me.

Now I can say that the Niqab that I wear is not for fashion but a passion for life, in’shaa’Allah (God willing).

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I’ve always known hijab to be an obligation and an Islamic duty for Muslim women. Yet, never felt confident enough to observe it as I thought I was not ‘ready’. However, I loved and envied sisters who covered themselves, Masha’allah, they had a strength and humbleness that I didn’t possess.

I started reading the Qur’an properly (English Translation and Arabic Tajweed) and started questioning life and death. Also, started attending Islamic lectures, finally started praying five times a day, without missing Fajr (dawn prayer).

One day, I was getting ready to go shopping with my mom and sisters, I felt different. I felt shy all of a sudden to step out my house without hijab. I remember taking off my favorite big hoops (earrings), I tied my hair up and wore hijaab with the intention of never removing it again, Alhamdulillah.

I felt paranoid and odd at first. I felt like people were looking at me. Deep down I knew I was just nervous because I had finally taken this step to a new life, a life with purpose, a life with meaning. A new identity as a Muslim woman.Allah (SWT) then allowed me to perform Ummrah, for the first time with my whole family, I loved it, I felt so refreshed! I promised myself I will never remove my abaya/jilbab.  I thought it would be even more difficult, but if I managed to wear hijab and jilbab in 40°C/104°F  Arab desert heat, surely the UK would be easier!

Now 4 years on, I have adorned the Niqab (face veil) – I had the intention to wear it for my next visit to Ummrah but Allah SWT Guided me to wear this for His Sake and I Love it! I wouldn’t change it for the world and everything in it. I give salaams to sisters who walk pass me and share our Deen together in conversations. Islam is beautiful and answers all questions about mankind, life, and universe. Everything now has a meaning in my life and purpose.Allah (SWT) has created me and I am His servant. Hijab and jilbab is an obligation, a commandment from Him to us believing women. Let that be a blessing for all honorable believers, Ameen.

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