I get asked quite often why I reverted and what lead me to Islam? So I thought I’d tell you all.
I didn’t have a good start in life. I was abandoned in a crack house at  the age of 14 months. I was there for 2 days before I was found. I was passed around the care system for a while before I was placed with a loving foster Mom. I always yearned for my real mother; she was allowed to see me the 1st Saturday of every month, but she would never come. I’d be sad, waiting for her looking out the window. I would be heartbroken but my foster mom would always be there to hug me when I felt rejected.

At 14, I turned into a “wild child.” I started smoking, drinking, and hanging around with the wrong people. I started running away from home to my birth mother but she would reject me and shut the door in my face, but as always, my foster mom held me close and loved me.

At 17, I started going to the local pub. I was naive. I got pregnant with my son Dylan at the age of 17. I raised him alone. He is now 18 and has never met his dad. When I was 19, I met a Muslim man and got pregnant with Omar. His dad has always been in and out of his life. Omar is now 15. I spent most my 20’s feeling lost and unwanted, so I drank more, smoked more weed to forget about life.

Last year in September, I went to a 24 hr rave (party). I think I lasted about 18 hrs. I just sat in my room and cried and cried and asked God for help for strength, for guidance. I must have passed out from drinking. When I was awake a few hours later, I was overwhelmed with a feeling. I knew what I wanted. I knew what I had to do and for the first time ever, I felt strong enough. I detoxed my body. It took about 3 days. I was shaking and as I was detoxing myself and trying to better myself, I found out I had been betrayed in the worst way possible; stabbed in the back by people who I thought cared about me. I was devastated. All I wanted was a drink but I didn’t. I was so proud of myself.

Once I knew my body was clean from drink and drugs, I took my Shahadah (testimony of Islamic faith). Wow! Amazing! I was free. I felt new. I felt relieved that I would never pick up another drink. Islam to me is more than a religion. I believe it really saved my life.

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When I first wore my hijab, I did it for fashion. I thought women in hijab look better than those who didn’t wear hijab. I admit I didn’t have much knowledge about Islam, then. I became a muslim through marriage. I was born Catholic. My parents were active members of the church. My conversion was a big blow to them.

Being a hijabi in my country is quite difficult. It made me feel safe but at the same time very much vulnerable. A lot of questions and eyebrows were raised. I experienced the discrimination that my fellow Muslim sisters felt.  That is why many Muslim women in my country do not wear their hijab.

Alhamdulillah (praise be to Allah), my husband has been very supportive. He taught me what I need to know and brought me to seminars of Muslim sisters. Not only was I able to answer questions around me (I am a teacher in a public school of mostly Catholics) but most of all, I was able to satisfy my hunger for knowledge about Islam. That was the  time I realized how important my hijab is. It became my strength, my identity, my constant reminder that I am a Muslimah (Muslim woman).  I should act and live like one. Most importantly,  I am a mere slave of Allah (SWT).

This will be the 5th year of me wearing the Niqab (face veil). I know that my struggle will never stop but as long as I am doing the right thing, with the RIGHT intention, I know Allah (SWT) will always guide me.

Now I can say that the Niqab that I wear is not for fashion but a passion for life, in’shaa’Allah (God willing).

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I’ve been a hijabi for about 9 months now. While I am not religious, I appreciate how I feel the hijab liberates me as a woman and allows me more control over my body and the message I want to say to the world. I was very excited about World HIjab Day this year because I wanted to try the niqab (face covering) for the day! It was a very enlightening experience and I’m so glad to have had the opportunity.

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“Take off your headscarf – lets see the length of your hair…
Go on just this once – it’s only a dare!”
The girl with the Hijab looked back and proudly replied…
“There is no chance that I’ll let 14 devils float by my side”

The other girl scoffed still wanting to have fun…
“So you’re prepared to roast under the burning sun??”
“Yes – because the heat right now means nothing to me;
It is the hell fire which is extremely scary”

Girl with no scarf – still wanting to say more…
“Why are you wearing it? What is the purpose for?”
“Allah will keep evil and punishment away from me….
This Hijab is there in my life for security…
I love and value my faith – which is why I cover my head”
Smiling the girl in the Hijab had said.

The other girl tensed – but not showing she’s feeling bad….
“Why not show everyone your beauty – once you have, you’ll feel ever so glad!”
“The beauty is inside me – where Islam is growing in my heart…
…appreciating Allah is the way for a happy start!”

At this point, the girl with no Hijab had nothing else left to say…
She knew that the other girl was always joyful and confident each and every day.
She realized that this Sister in Hijab will always remain pure and never will walk in shame….
The girl with no scarf knew she wanted to be exactly the same.

This is why, when she went home – she made a very big decision.
She realized that loving Allah can put you in such a wonderful position.
In the classroom, the next day – this girl was wearing her Hijab for the first ever time – feeling so proud…
Looked at the other girl whom she had made fun of before had said out loud…

“Oh sister of Islam – forgive me for the things I have said….
Seeing the love you hold for our religion has today made me cover my head…
Your sweet and caring words that you so dearly expressed…
Made me see how Islam has given you so much respect
I know that Allah will gift those who follow Islam….
Wearing my Hijab – I know that I will be safe from any harm.

Thank you My Sister – for you who I now admire and congratulate
Together as Muslims, we should aim to reach Jannat’s Gates.”

The first girl – amazed, had happiness all over her face
Smiled with love and gave the Sister a lot of praise.
“Mashallah Sister – Indeed Allah will purify your heart and your deen…
Continue love for our faith and in Heaven we will be seen…
Wearing the Hijab – we will always stay as the ‘Respected Girl’….
And to Allah we will be known as the ‘Concealed Pearl!’

Author: Unknown

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