Recently, my husband and I along with our two children traveled from Hamburg to Spain for the two-weeks school break. It was our first travel out of Germany since we migrated here from Singapore. For first time, I was scrutinized ever so thoroughly and felt many pairs of eyes observing my every movement. I can totally understand how my hijab may have struck fear and worry in some given the recent influx of negative news involving Islam. I even wondered if I had not worn my hijab would it make them ‘less worried’. However, I also felt that while many were judging me, it took a lot of courage on my part to want to wear my hijab regardless of how uncomfortable I was when people stared and avoided my smile, and when airport security screened every single gadget and my body just to be safe….. that one piece of cloth on my head had set off so much concern.

A woman who choose to wear hijab, takes upon herself the knowledge that she will be misjudged, discriminated and misunderstood. But, still, that is just a minor setback. Hijab brings along peace in my heart, love for the One who creates me and strength and resolute in practicing my faith.

If motherhood completes my journey to being a woman, my hijab is the beginning of my journey to becoming a good Muslimah. Amin.

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I am a teacher and I live in a predominantly Christian country where Muslims are a minority. This reality did not hinder me to practice my faith. I confess that I have gone through many struggles just to wear the hijab. I started wearing it way back in 2009 when I was still in college. At first, I was so hesitant to wear the hijab because I was not used to it and I was studying in a Catholic university. Just imagine the struggle that a hijabi could experience in a Catholic community because she is differently and uniquely dressed. Imagine the stares she would get from donning the hijab. But Alhamdulillah (God-Graciously) my college days went meaningfully and peacefully.

I was able to find wonderful people who accepted me for who I am. I was even granted a scholarship (I came from a poor family) by the university. My professors did not treat me differently. I became friends with many students even though I had different beliefs than them.  I occasionally got annoying and wondering stares from several students which I simply ignored. I did not tell them that I am a Muslim, I just showed them that I was one by returning sweet smiles.

Then came the turning point of my life. After graduation, I started to look for a job. But unfortunately, I was not able to find even one for the various applications I had submitted. There was one school that openly disregarded me because of my religion. But this did not stop me from hoping that I would eventually land a job. Unfortunately nothing changed. So I decided to remove my hijab. It was not an easy decision for me. I asked my parents and we talked about it seriously. I even asked Allah’s forgiveness for doing so. And Alhamdulillah (God-Graciously) I landed a job. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thanking Allah not because I became free of the hijab but because despite of my shortcomings He did not forsake me. He still granted me the blessing to have this job that provides for my family.

Then on the day of Eid’l Adha (Eid of Sacrifice) in 2014, I came to realize that it had been one year since I gave up my hijab and how I felt incomplete without it. So I started wearing it again and I don’t want to remove it anymore. I promised never to make the same mistake again. Subhanallah (All Praise be to Allah), my students and colleagues wholeheartedly accepted this transformation. And I feel proud whenever I discuss about Islam and hijab during class. I feel complete with my hijab. It’s like the soul of my biological body. I feel so much respected and take pride in it. Thus, I feel empowered as a hijabi teacher.

I would be happy to read your comments about my story. Thank you all.

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