The hardest part about wearing a hijab, for me, is knowing that if I take it off, almost everyone would applaud me for being strong and courageous. No one would see that my willpower and pride had been broken. People would clap when I would actually need them to mourn with me and realize that the causes of that happening need to be eradicated.

I wear this scarf because when I was a child I was socialized to be embarrassed, even ashamed, of my religion and my culture. I was told that to be a Muslim was to be a terrorist and that to be outwardly Muslim was to endorse violence and oppression. I was told that I had more in common with the violent men on tv than with the other children in my second grade class. I understood that I would be unwelcome as long as I wore symbols of my heritage and chose to, in however modern a way, embrace my ancestors. I was told that to manifest my faith in this way, to dress like my mother as many young girls want to do, was to spit in the faces of “real Americans.” The day I walk out of my house without this scarf would not be a day to be celebrated. It would be the day that I decide that to be proud of myself is too much of a liability and that shame of my faith, my family and my heritage are easier to swallow than the dirty stares, abuse, misunderstanding and sense of alienation from those around me who do not and will not care enough about me or women who look like me to help alleviate it.

I wear this scarf because I could not see beauty in myself for 19 out of my 20 years of life. I idealized the white skin and colored eyes of my peers. I think I probably still do. I thought I looked like less of a child than my friends in old photographs- believing that my tan skin and dark eyes meant I looked less cute, less innocent, less lovable. It was made evident early on that women are valued almost solely based on their appearance in many societies— and unfortunately my merchandise was cheap. I devalued myself because I looked different. Other Muslims, Arabs or people of color only corroborated this price scale with their colonized beauty ideals— celebrating the beauty of their colonizers as opposed to their own features. Fighting this internalized self-hate took too much time and only recently have I come to appreciate the way I look. I safeguard this precious self-love, 19 years in the making, by rejecting any notion that my being can be reduced to what anyone, orientalist or not, perverted or not, racist or not, can see on the street. The day I leave my house without a scarf is the day my conviction that I am more than my appearance is finally crushed under the almost overwhelming desire to be appreciated and deemed worthy by this superficial society. It would not be a day to be celebrated– it would be a day to question when or why our obsession with appearances overtook our individual cultivated and nuanced moralities.

On this World Hijab Day, I wanted to make it clear, for my own situation, that if a day comes that I decide to take off my hijab, it will not be a day when I am “freed”- it will be a day I will have exhaustedly stopped fighting for my rights, my personal morals, and my individual convictions. I won’t have decided to take it off. Rather, I will have been deprived of my ability to keep it on.

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I’m a very new Muslim convert. I was raised in a Christian family. I am living in Holland, where it’s not so easy to be a Muslim. I’m just started to wear  hijab  few weeks ago and experienced the greatest feeling ever. When I wear my hijab, I feel perfectly happy, free, confident, strong, secure, and honorable. Because of prejudices, it’s not easy to wear  hijab in my country and without hijab I feel empty, naked, and uncomfortable. No one forced or asked me to wear it, but it feels great and amazing. It makes me so happy and it’s showing me the way of heaven , Alhamdulillah.

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I’ve been a Muslim for about a year now and I can honestly say it’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. I started wearing my hijab faithfully and permanently two weeks before I actually converted to Islam. My hijab has made me lose almost all of my “friends” because they couldn’t be seen with someone like me and I get to be treated differently by most of my family members who do not understand why I cover myself more than I did before. I explain to everyone that wearing my hijab has not changed who I am as a person nor has it altered my way of living.

My hijab, in fact, has made me feel more confident in myself and made people actually talk to me differently, with more respect. It has made both men and women to look at ‘ME’ and like me for who I am instead of liking me based upon my physical appearance. Converting to Islam and wearing my hijab has made me look at life in a different way. Women are not objects to be judged by their looks! We shouldn’t be liked based on our beauty. We are all beautiful and we shouldn’t let just anyone or everyone only admire our physical beauty. We should be admired by our intelligence, compassion, and our hearts. Wear your hijabs proudly my dear sisters! I wear mine proudly every single day!

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Hijab has always been a piece of cloth to me. An accessory. An accent to an outfit. Nothing more. Before I knew it, it became my passion. I became obsessed with hijab. The meaning behind it and more so, the empowerment it held. Hijab has saved my life in every aspect. It’s changed my character, my personality, my behavior, my thoughts, my opinions, essentially my being. It has encouraged me to become the best possible human and Muslim I have the potential of becoming.

I’ve never been very religious. A few prayers when I remembered but for the most part, I was scared of Islam. I was scared of all the things I’ve done wrong, I never thought to ever make them right. Wearing the hijab has taught me the beauty of Islam. It has handed me satisfaction in myself and for all the right reasons.

Hijab doesn’t limit power or encouragement or success. It excels it. It teaches you to beat the odds that are set against you and even those beyond. It teaches you to never settle in being comfortable but stepping out in all different unknowns, remembering that Allah (swt) will only give you challenges He knows you can overcome. Hijab has given me a certain confidence I couldn’t find in superficial or materialistic categories. It has granted me a proud shield I carry ever so gently in my daily life and I am forever grateful for it. I am humbled, I am grounded, I am fearless.

I am a proud Muslim and for the first time in my life, I can honestly say I mean it with every single atom that Allah has astonishingly created. I am human and I want the world to know, I’m no different than them. I have the same ambitions, dreams and fantasies. I want the world to see that Islam is not about fear. It’s about love. So many different types of love, the most complex brain could not comprehend its realms. The only thing that makes us different is a piece of cloth. But if only they knew the virtue it holds.

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