I’m 25 years old and Caucasian. I was born in a Christian family.

During my high school years, I pursued a modeling career. I can recall thinking “This is what I want. I want to be a model.” So my father was active in assisting me in this career path. We made profiles online, went through a few agencies. After many searches, I finally found an audition to be with an agency. They signed me on and from there began the training and prepping. I made contacts with scouts from different TV shows, modeling agencies, and film. A few months after working with the agency, I decided I no longer wanted to pursue modeling. I look back now and I believe Allah had a better plan all along for me to be where I am now, and not modeling and showing my body.

I found Islam and took my shahada (Islamic testimony of faith) one year ago. My journey to Islam began when I became friends with a Muslim for the first time almost two years ago. I was practicing Christianity at the time but I was always eager to be closer to God. Prior to meeting my Muslim friend, I had no idea what Islam was or who Muslims were. I can recall seeing hijabis but I never saw them different from one who didn’t wear hijab. I was brought up to love people no matter how they dressed or appeared. Alhamdulillah.

This Muslim friend of mine began to educate me about Islam and from that moment on I did my own research. I fell in love with the religion, and I finally found what I had been searching for. I spent the next five months studying Islam and reading Quran. I began dressing more modestly and I embraced the hijab before I took my shahada, finding comfort in the protection it was providing me. Islam taught me that it’s ok to cover yourself and be appreciated for your intellect. I feel more beautiful in hijab and although I struggled with it at first, I grew to love it. Now, I can’t see myself living without it. My mother grew to be accepting of me wearing hijab and now she fixes it before I walk out the door and wakes me up for Fajr (dawn prayer). Allahu akbar (Allah is the Greatest)!

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I reverted to Islam 2 years ago after being raised Catholic and being an Atheist for most of my life. I started to wear hijab when I was learning about Islam. I went permanent with it after I reverted. I love hijab because I feel like I share the purest version of myself with it and only my husband gets to enjoy the most intimate parts of my body. I have a complete control of who gets to see whichever parts I allow of my body. I feel most beautiful in hijab because I feel like my true soul shines through and I don’t have to display my bosoms, wear make up, or show off my figure to prove that I’m a valuable person. I never knew that I could feel so comfortable and beautiful until I started to wear hijab. Modesty is the most underrated form of beauty.

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For World Hijab Day I put on the hijab…and I haven’t taken it off!

Although I’ve been raised in a christian family I have been strongly considering reverting to Islam. One of the big parts of the change that made me stutter was wearing the hijab. It is very different for someone raised in the American culture, and different can be scary. However, when I wore the hijab I felt safe. Comfortable. Elegant. Modest. Me.

For the most part no one really acted differently towards me when I dressed up for World Hijab Day. I went shopping at one of my favorite stores that was having a big sale. I laughed and joked with the girls in the lines, the associates helped me and asked me if I was finding everything ok. The men parted when I perused the men’s section for something I could bring to my husband. Everyone was smiling, just like always. I was the only hijabi in the building, but I didn’t feel isolated. Later, an elderly man asked what I was wearing on my head. I told him it was a scarf, since that was what it was (I didn’t feel comfortable discussing the hijab with someone on a public bus, since it’s not a place you can walk away from someone being hurtful or mean). He said “ok!” and left it at that.

I’ve also received comments from individuals about how they never see people wearing head scarves for reasons other than religion. I guess because I’m white I must not be muslim? Or that I must not practice Christianity with fervor? Hum, ok…but then the comments are followed up with how nice it looks on me. I guess I’ll take a compliment when its offered.

Of course, I have the benefit of living in a college town that is full of internationals, including hijabis. I wonder if hijab would yield different results in my hometown in South Carolina? I guess we will have to see, because I don’t see myself taking it off any time soon.

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I strongly recommend this [World Hijab day] experience.  It truly is humbling. One of the greatest experiences I have had is a hijab last February. I wore it to see how my friend Salma Rah and all the other women feel when they wear their hijab. At first, I was nervous about it. What will it feel like? What happens if I get laughed at? But what I did not expect to get was the anger my mother expressed at my appearance. That single emotion proved the experiment worthwhile. “Why would you wear that? You are Christian?” I told my friend had asked me to wear a hijab to support the women who wear it and are getting abused because they do.

Wearing a Hijab is the easy part, being out in the world and seeing the reaction is the hard part. Honestly, I almost took it off when classmates laughed at me. But I persevered and told them I was supporting my friend and women who wear a hijab on a daily basis that suffer abuse from people who don’t understand. It is a great way to walk in my friend’s shoes.

Thank you for asking me to understand.

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