I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Living in a bubble where life looked so shiny and spotless, I had no idea about the basic minimum struggles people face in their daily lives. Then, like a tornado, my life changed overnight. After my father was taken away from us, my world and the bubble that he so lovingly built to safeguard us, came crumbling down.

Well, I haven’t really picked up the keyboard today to preach my sad story. Rather, it’s to share my ray of hope: the sheer willingness of getting back in life, working through my depression, heartbreak and anxiety. A lot of those who know my story keep asking, “how do you remain calm?” I am not perfect and often, my panic wrath is bestowed upon my close ones, which I immediately regret afterward.

However, there are a few practical tips that helped me to keep my calm. I am no medical expert so please spare me that scrutiny. Just like a sister in the hood, I am passing down some of my survival practice to anyone in need of it:

1.“Surah Ar- Rahman” is my jam. I keep it on loop on YouTube. I even kept a downloaded version in case there was no internet. I play it for my baby too when he sleeps. I make sure I am not doing anything when I play the recitation because I need to feel the melody. Quranic recitation is scientifically proven as a means to calm the nerves. When my baby was in the NICU, the hospital in Malaysia would play Quranic recitation on a loudspeaker. I once asked if any non-Muslim mother had ever complained about it. The nurse informed me that they saw how this recitation calmed the baby so they never complained. They regarded it as therapy. But, it made me wonder how blessed we are to have such an amazing gift from Allah and yet, we hardly utilise it.  

“Surah Ar-Rahman” isn’t just melodious, but its meaning gives me strength. Through it, my Creator repeatedly asks me, “Have I not done enough for you? Have I not given you enough?” What are you so grumpy about, girl?  I believe, if we look with desperate eyes, there is always a surah that mends the heart in a given situation. Look for it, understand the words and make it your jam.

2.Wash your feet and leave it wet. I know this seems weird, but it helps to calm the body down. Do this when anxiety creeps up on you and your body feels like it’s on fire. Wet your feet even when you are irritated and sleepless. Make wudu (Islamic cleansing ritual before prayers and before reading the Quran), but as you wash your feet, don’t towel–dry it.

If you have a congested nose and cough, take a shower and make sure to pour water abundantly on your head. Our Prophet Muhammadﷺ said that fever is fire and water calms it down. Hence, if you have a fever, drinking a lot of water and doing wudu helps. During a hot summer day, take a half–hand full of water and pour it on the scalp of your head; leave it like that and let it slowly dry on its own. It will also save you from a heat stroke. Water is an amazing remedy that we often underestimate.

3.Hug someone tightly. Skin to skin touch is another miracle of Allah that has not been explored much by people. I have seen the miracle first–hand when my baby was born prematurely. “The kangaroo care,” where the baby is placed on the bare skin of a parent, speeds up the recovery process exponentially.

Now, in his toddler years, the best remedy for his tantrums is to hug him. It works on adults too. Take a deep breath, hug someone and do not speak about what is bothering you as verbal communication at that moment of heat can cause a panic attack. Hug your husband, your sister, your mother or your dear friend of the same gender. If I feel stressed out, I will just go to my son and say, “Mummy needs a hug.” He has become so accustomed to it that it’s almost funny to see him handling it so maturely بارك الله فيك.

Source: https://hrmars.com/papers_submitted/3852/the-effect-of-recitation-quran-on-the-human-emotions.pdf

About the Author

Sumaiya Rabeya is a researcher and content writer. She is the co-founder of a Malaysia-based media-production company. Sumaiya is also a community volunteer, actively working on various projects related to Islamic dawah, social engagement and women. Born in 1989, she graduated with a degree in Politics and International Relations and is currently pursuing her Ph.D. in Gender Studies. Moreover, she has been working as a media content writer for over a decade. As a Bengali young mother, she feels responsible in creatively contributing to society.

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