“Why do you hate me?” I was caught off guard with that question. I looked toward this 20 something-year-old man, whom I had known for about a year. He was the supervisor in charge of assigning cleaners to my home. The cleaners were girls so I did not cover my face with a niqab around them. But, when their manager came to pick them up, I always stepped aside to put my niqab on and then, casually converse with him.  He noticed this before, but never mentioned anything or asked any questions. However, when my mother was visiting me one time and upon seeing the man, scurried off into another room, he became utterly disheartened. “Why do you hate me?” He asked. “Why do you hide your face when I come? Your mom doesn’t even want to say ‘Hi’ to me. Is it because I am not Muslim? Do you guys not talk to people who are non-Muslim?”

“No, no. Because you are a guy,” I said. He looked puzzled.  His prompt question gave me new insight into things. It made me realize how, as a niqabi woman, I held the entitlement that everyone should be aware of my practices and respect my choices by default!

I started my niqab when I was a teenager. And the attacks werealmost immediate. As a super ambitious girl, it was frustrating to keep proving my self-worth only because I had an extra layer of clothing on me. I had to amplify my self-confidence as my self-defence. However, ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلَّٰهِ‎ as I tried to defeat one hurdle after another, my self-confidence boosted, but unfortunately, transformed into fragments of arrogance. Every encounter in a non-familiar environment was a war. I needed to win, I needed to make them accept me. This journey made me lose a very crucial element of my faith: empathy. I forgot that not all people are ignorant, some simply…don’t know.

Recently, a hijabi friend of mine shared with me her experience of talking to a man who was practicing his full hijab, that is lowering his gaze while talking to her. And it made her uncomfortable. See, how do we women feel when the table is turned?  Are we really accepting the other gender, the men who practice their full hijab? Do we feel uncomfortable if a man stares down while talking to us because we are not used to or familiar with it? That may give us a taste of our own medicine. Men or women from other faiths may feel uncomfortable with our hijab/niqab. And we need to accept that with empathy, not as bigotry. As practicing people, we have a bigger responsibility to be more understanding. To deal with such incidences with care and knowledge. Once I took the time to explain my reasons to move aside and cover up, the man was not only humbled, but also amazed and perhaps, when he encounters another niqabi next time, his approach will be more different and more gentle. Therefore, we need to pack our vocabulary with words people can understand and associate with. After all, we people are, subconsciously, a team, learning how to communicate with and understand each other.

In fact, it is written in line 34 of “Surah As Sajda,” in the Qur’an, “And not equal are the good deeds and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better, and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he were a devoted friend.”

Empathy is faith and faith is empowerment.

About Author

Sumaiya Rabeya is a researcher and content writer. She is the co-founder of a Malaysia-based media-production company. Rabeya is also a community volunteer, actively working on various projects related to Islamic dawah, social engagement and women. Born in 1989, she graduated with a degree in Politics and International Relations and is currently pursuing her Ph.D. in Gender Studies. Moreover, Rabeya has been working as a media content writer for over a decade. As a Bengali young mother, she feels responsible in creatively contributing to society.

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Because the attached picture was taken on the 1st of February 2013, it makes it exactly 2 years now since I have donned the Hijab. I clearly remember how excited I was and how painful it was to properly style the long shawl. It felt pretty warm too!

One of the first questions people would ask me was what prompted me to make change in my life, especially when I was known to dress in a quite fashionable manner in my younger days. The transformation was brutal and to some, it came as a real shock!

Well, the decision I made had nothing to do with a Pilgrimage Trip or a Completed Hajj. I had just quit a horrible job at that point in time and felt that the time was ripe to “follow instructions” from the Creator, and stay on the straight path. I didn’t want to be straying from his mandatory requirements anymore.
Besides, I no longer wanted to be “free for all”. So, yeah, I made that call to put on the veil – a decision which came straight from the heart, with absolutely no external pressure from anyone.

I kinda regret I made that call a little late in life – and for that, I’d like to offer some food for thought to some young ladies out there.

Believe it or not, the Hijab doesn’t reduce your attractiveness at all.

The beauty that is in your heart and the light that is in your face, will in fact, radiate more once your hair is properly covered and your body lines blurred. And the bonus is, men will automatically respect your more.
No more whistling and no more nonsensical talks.

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I started wearing hijab since I converted to Islam almost 3 months ago, Alhamdulillah (All Praise is due to Allah)! I am living in a non-Muslim country. My conversion to Islam came with a huge social challenge. Everybody looked awkwardly at me when I would go out wearing my hijab. They laughed but I kept going and tried to be stronger. I used to cry, asking Allah (swt) (All-Praised and The Exalted) to keep me on the right path and not even let me think about taking it off.  My hijab is my freedom to be who I want and who I really am. My hijab, even if it’s a piece of material, for me, is my personality, my beauty, and my shyness. My hijab is a part of me. I love my hijab!

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I am originally from Bosnia. But grew up in the Netherlands and did not have a typical Islamic upbringing. However, on a big part, I was informed about many of the beauties of Islam.  Though it wasn’t until a half year ago, after my personal search for the truth and meaning of life, that I have found peace and solace in the remembrance of Allah (s.w.t.) and have since made huge steps to try to secure my bond with Him. Lately, I’ve been thinking of wearing the hijab but I don’t feel as if I’m strong enough to face people in my surrounding…Even though, I love everything the covering stands for. That’s why I want to thank every lovely lady that has shared her story, for you are definitely helping me in the right direction! God bless you, all sisters in faith and humanity.

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I used to be a school teacher. A friend from Malaysia once asked me that why don’t most of the Muslim women in our country (Myanmar), who do not work for the government and mostly live within the Muslim community, wear hijab?

Actually, there are many Muslim women in Myanmar who wear hijab. But we have lived under socialist rule for almost three decades and are now passing a democratic transition. So, we are not yet ready to wear hijab but we do practice Islam and remain steadfast in its way.

Though some women would like to wear hijab but they don’t do so because of various reasons like their husbands would not allow them to,  they don’t want to distinguish themselves from the non-Muslims around, and they don’t want to leave the modern fashion.

But, what we have learned all our lives as minority Muslims is that no one but Allah is able to protect our dignity and properties.

It is most imperative for us, Muslims, to draw closer to Allah and gain His pleasure. So, by explaining to the people around with different views and unsupportive husbands, and making them understand, let us together strive for increasing the number of Muslim women who wear hijab! Insha Allah (God-Willingly)!

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I reverted to Islam 2 years ago after being raised Catholic and being an Atheist for most of my life. I started to wear hijab when I was learning about Islam. I went permanent with it after I reverted. I love hijab because I feel like I share the purest version of myself with it and only my husband gets to enjoy the most intimate parts of my body. I have a complete control of who gets to see whichever parts I allow of my body. I feel most beautiful in hijab because I feel like my true soul shines through and I don’t have to display my bosoms, wear make up, or show off my figure to prove that I’m a valuable person. I never knew that I could feel so comfortable and beautiful until I started to wear hijab. Modesty is the most underrated form of beauty.

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When I first wore my hijab, I did it for fashion. I thought women in hijab look better than those who didn’t wear hijab. I admit I didn’t have much knowledge about Islam, then. I became a muslim through marriage. I was born Catholic. My parents were active members of the church. My conversion was a big blow to them.

Being a hijabi in my country is quite difficult. It made me feel safe but at the same time very much vulnerable. A lot of questions and eyebrows were raised. I experienced the discrimination that my fellow Muslim sisters felt.  That is why many Muslim women in my country do not wear their hijab.

Alhamdulillah (praise be to Allah), my husband has been very supportive. He taught me what I need to know and brought me to seminars of Muslim sisters. Not only was I able to answer questions around me (I am a teacher in a public school of mostly Catholics) but most of all, I was able to satisfy my hunger for knowledge about Islam. That was the  time I realized how important my hijab is. It became my strength, my identity, my constant reminder that I am a Muslimah (Muslim woman).  I should act and live like one. Most importantly,  I am a mere slave of Allah (SWT).

This will be the 5th year of me wearing the Niqab (face veil). I know that my struggle will never stop but as long as I am doing the right thing, with the RIGHT intention, I know Allah (SWT) will always guide me.

Now I can say that the Niqab that I wear is not for fashion but a passion for life, in’shaa’Allah (God willing).

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I’ve always known hijab to be an obligation and an Islamic duty for Muslim women. Yet, never felt confident enough to observe it as I thought I was not ‘ready’. However, I loved and envied sisters who covered themselves, Masha’allah, they had a strength and humbleness that I didn’t possess.

I started reading the Qur’an properly (English Translation and Arabic Tajweed) and started questioning life and death. Also, started attending Islamic lectures, finally started praying five times a day, without missing Fajr (dawn prayer).

One day, I was getting ready to go shopping with my mom and sisters, I felt different. I felt shy all of a sudden to step out my house without hijab. I remember taking off my favorite big hoops (earrings), I tied my hair up and wore hijaab with the intention of never removing it again, Alhamdulillah.

I felt paranoid and odd at first. I felt like people were looking at me. Deep down I knew I was just nervous because I had finally taken this step to a new life, a life with purpose, a life with meaning. A new identity as a Muslim woman.Allah (SWT) then allowed me to perform Ummrah, for the first time with my whole family, I loved it, I felt so refreshed! I promised myself I will never remove my abaya/jilbab.  I thought it would be even more difficult, but if I managed to wear hijab and jilbab in 40°C/104°F  Arab desert heat, surely the UK would be easier!

Now 4 years on, I have adorned the Niqab (face veil) – I had the intention to wear it for my next visit to Ummrah but Allah SWT Guided me to wear this for His Sake and I Love it! I wouldn’t change it for the world and everything in it. I give salaams to sisters who walk pass me and share our Deen together in conversations. Islam is beautiful and answers all questions about mankind, life, and universe. Everything now has a meaning in my life and purpose.Allah (SWT) has created me and I am His servant. Hijab and jilbab is an obligation, a commandment from Him to us believing women. Let that be a blessing for all honorable believers, Ameen.

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I converted into Islam almost one year ago (May 7, 2013). I never thought I would fall in love with a religion so beautifully humble. I’ve come a long way from where I was a year ago. I used to roam this world with an empty feeling inside my heart before Islam. People always ask me what is my testimony from Islam. I could name them the many blessings Allah has sent me this past year but that still couldn’t sum everything. So I simply reply with a smile and say my happiness is my testimony. I found that not only did my life spiritually change but so has my life around me. One week after I converted into Islam I began to wear my Hijab. I had let my parents know I converted so I felt that I had nothing holding me back from covering. I have always been a person that would careless what the people around me think, so when I wore my Hijab people would stare and I would smile back thanking Allah for blessing me with happiness. I think wearing the Hijab is such a beautiful look on women and I support WHD. Knowing that all around the world there are millions of women feeling as empowered and beautiful as I do is what fuels my spirit with happiness. Subhanallah I even saw my younger sister who is not Muslim wearing Hijab with me. Inshallah I will continue learning more about Islam so I can enlighten those around me of the peaceful religion.

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I was going through a tough time in my life that I questioned Allah (SWT) about it, astagfirullah (I ask Allah for forgiveness). Trying to find the answers, I attended a parenting course by my daughter’s private Islamic preschool Dzul Iman. The Khalifah Parenting course changed how I view life on earth, 180degrees totally.

I learnt that life in world is borrowed. Time is borrowed. Even your children are borrowed. So what makes us think that everything belongs to us and should go the way we want it?

I was very successful before that tough time. I have avid followers as I promoted healthy living, healthy parenting. I was Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution Ambassador for Selangor, Malaysia and even spoke to Jamie Oliver himself via Google Hangout on the launching of the day.

Little did I know, that on the event day in Malaysia, a follower had made supplication for me to adorn the hijab properly. In her own words, she said – “you have such gentle ways to be a da’ee (conveyer of Islamic message) – but I was sad that you were not a proper Muslim so I made supplication.

Masya Allah (Praise be to Allah)! I never knew how big the power of supplication until all this happened to me.

So, maybe it was the power of supplication that changed my heart to attend the course.

I cried during one of the teachings in the course: “Nothing belongs to you, not even your children. Your children are a loan to you by the grace of Allah.”

Then there was that story about the hijab: “Why bother about the colorful hijab you must have in this world, when in Jannah you can have all the colorful hijab you want?” The sale is 100% off and goes on for infinity.

Surely, everything belongs to Allah (swt). So, why do I think five times a day is enough for me to communicate with Allah? I felt that there was a huge barrier between me and my Maker and sought ways to close that gap. Then it came to my dressing. How will Allah take notice of me if I do things half-heartedly? More importantly how do I set a solid foundation in my daughter on the true concept of Haya (modesty) in Islam when I do not promote it to its full potential?

Haya isn’t just putting a covering on your head. The word haya’ is derived from the word “al-hayah”, which means life. Now, this got me thinking. If you do not have haya, you do not have life. You are as good as a dead person. Islam encourages and treasures al-haya’ or modesty. It is one of the most important characteristics that each and every Muslim should acquire and possess.

The following  are some hadiths which emphasize this great quality:

“Haya’ (modesty) and Iman (faith) are two that go together. If one is lifted, the other is also lifted.”
[Recorded by al-Hakim]

“Al-Haya’ is part of Iman.”
“Haya’ does not produce but goodness.”
[Recorded by al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Abu Mas’ud ‘Uqbah bin ‘Amr al-Ansari al-Badri, radiyallahu ‘anhu, reported that the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam, said: “Among the things that people have found from the words of the previous prophets was: ‘If you feel no shame, then do as you wish.’”
[Al-Bukhari]

My niqab (face covering), my khimar, my dressing has faithfully kept me to not always do things as I wish. It is a constant self- reminder. A stop sign.  An U-Turn when I go astray. To always remember that I am trying to bridge the gap between me and Allah. A constant reminder that I am trying to gain extra points. It is my Haya. My life.

The first few months were truly a struggle. There were pitfalls. There were times I had gone astray due to my nafs (self-desire). Moments, I am not proud of. But as we learn from mistakes, it’s so liberating to know that when I go out into the world, I have something to constantly remind me of the purpose I am here: “Everything is borrowed and that the After Life is my ultimate goal. Everything I do is for Allah, and that pitfalls are of my own doing for not following the ways of Allah.”

I came across many interesting situations with my niqab. When non-Muslims questions, it gives me that urge to find an answer that will satisfy their curiosity.  When the Muslims question my niqab, I say: “aah I see! Let’s make the best of each day. I am just gaining some extra credits. It’s something I personally want to do.”

The best part, my children have never felt different for having a mother who wears a niqab.  In fact, it has been easy to mold my teenage daughter because she can better associate the feeling of “dressing inappropriately when my mother is dressed more appropriately.”

Five months after I adorned my niqab, that very same follower of my Food Revolution, emailed me saying “Masya Allah, my prayers have been answered. You inspire us so much kakak (sister). This really completes you and amplifies the love and guidance and positive affirmations we all need as mothers, as women, and as  Muslims and much more.”

I cried. I was born Muslim but fully understood my role. My niqab has been the pinnacle of where I feel that I am born again.

“By time, indeed, Mankind is in loss, Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience.” [Qur’an, Al-Asr 103]

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