I was born Muslim but never worn Hijab as my parents never asked me to wear it. Also, my mother wasn’t wearing it either, so I used that as my excuse for not wearing it.

I always had this weak desire to wear Hijab. I was not even sure if I was ready for it.  I thought I’m young, pretty (lol) and loved fashion a lot and thought the style of Hijab would make me look boring.  I always envisioned Hijabs to be triangular in shape and it gets pinned by the chin with a safety pin and on the body, wear only Abaya (a full-length outer garment). That was the image in my head.

Nonetheless, things changed on June of 2013. I was completely depressed, unhappy with my own life and with myself. Nothing made me happy. I came to the conclusion that I needed to turn myself back to Allah Almighty to have blessing and a peace of mind.

To show commitment to Allah (SWT) I chose to wear Hijab, however, I was  strongly encouraged by my mother because she started wearing hijab too, Alhumdulillah!

Since I’ve started wearing Hijab, I feel happy, protected, content, confident and beautiful both inside and out. I started to gain more respect from others, including non-muslims. Men do not see me with dirty eyes anymore and that made me gain strength and  dignity as well.

I’m very happy to be guided back to my creator and to be able to worship Him.  Allah (SWT) made me a very happy person.  I can assure you 100%,  there’s more positive than negative to earn by wearing Hijab!

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I embraced Islam in the year of 1978, Alhamdulillah (Praise be to Allah). I have to admit that the first time I took my shahadah (testimony of faith) in 1978, it was mere lip service  without much ‘real’ commitment but I told myself I got to start somewhere and somehow.

Being a free thinker all the time has not brought me any sense of longing in a literal manner. Brought up in a simple family where life is so free and easy during the early 70’s and poverty was the name of the game but blessed with a very strict father, Alhamdulillah.

As I slowly educated myself about Islam, I became much more committed. I revived my shahadah over and over again in my five daily prayers, Alhamdulillah.

Of course, donning the Hijab had not been easy for me. Initially, I disliked covering my beautiful hair. It took me five years after my conversion to know the wisdom behind hijab. Finally, I started by covering my hair halfway. I was still trying hard.

Unfortunately, even my ‘half’ hijab was very unwelcoming in my family.  I felt like I was playing ‘hide and seek’ game- wearing it quickly when I got out of my house and taking it off quickly when I came back. Thinking back, I really dislike those ‘peek-a-boo’ days.

Now, I am able to don my hijab fully.  Allah (swt) has lightened my path and guided me truly. All praises are due to Him! He is the Greatest! There is none truly worth of worship except Allah and Muhammad is His Last Prophet. Masha’Allah.

Just like a Chinese saying to “Be content when you have your position”.

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