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If Allah loves me then why doesn’t He want me to look ‘attractive’ like other girls?

By Yomna Tarek Abdelgayed (Egypt)

My story started a long while ago; at a time when I put on the hijab and didn’t really get what it was all about. Why does a scarf on my head would please Allah? What’s the connection between covering up and being modest? If Allah loves me, why does He want me to not look ‘attractive’ like other girls? If my hair and my body is a gift Allah gave me by making me a woman, why doesn’t He approve of me to put that out? For a 13 year old teenager, that was the kind of questions going on in my mind. And that was the time when I put it on.

Why did I? Because it felt right. With all the misconceptions and lack of understanding of what this Hijab is, all I knew and felt was that I am a grown up now, and Allah wouldn’t want me to wear it if it wasn’t for my own good. ‘Till this day, I thank Allah for blessing me with it, and I thank Allah for showing me how my Hijab has been the light of my life day after day. Being a hijabi teenager when most of the girls my age were not, I felt unique. When I walked around, all short and covered up, people looked at me…That’s kind of cool, right?

As a 20 year old now, my Hijab makes me feel secure. It feels like Allah is watching over me. Growing up, I’ve always made the following duaa ‘اللهم استخدمني و لا تستبدلني’, and now I know that my prayer was answered when I’ve become a representative woman of this wonderful deen (religion).

Covering up made me feel preserved. Preserved for the one person that would deserve to have that when I get married; and when my father walks me down the aisle to my man inshAllah, I will feel like a wrapped up gift. Hijab is one of the things I’m most grateful for, and I’m so proud to have it as a first step in my grown up life. Trust me when I tell you, extra garment on you has more to it than you can ever imagine.

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