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I have reverted from the darkness to this Light

By Syeda Azima Wahid (UK)

I was born to a Muslim family in Bangladesh. My family was not that religious. My mother did not wear hijab. She was a beautiful, stylish woman. I say ‘she was’ because sadly she passed away from breast cancer in 2007. We moved to London, England in 2004 and that time I was this rebellious teenager who would wear jeans, bunk school and shout at her mum. My mother changed after her diagnosis. She became serious in her prayers, Quran recitation and she began wearing the hijab. At late nights, I would find her crying and supplicating to Allah for forgiveness. You see her illness was terminal. She did not have much time. I was too self-centered to realize that. Gradually my mother lost her hair, beauty and health. She was admitted to a hospice where she gave out her last breath.

For the first time I witnessed death. With my very own eyes. I washed her dead body and attended the funeral prayer. Deep inside, I was empty. Few days later, I touched the Quran for the first time and read it. Islamic shows on TV interested me more than worldly channels. I read this book about death where it says – ‘ Every soul shall taste death’. The punishment in the grave and in Hell for disobeying Allah scared me. I was changing then bit by bit… Finally I began wearing the hijab.

Covering my hair and body completely! It was a new me… I was reborn. I have reverted from the darkness to this Light. It has been 8 years and I am a happy Hijabi along with being happily married and also a very happy mother! My mother is not here today to see all these but I believe it was her tears and prayers to Allah that helped me receive His guidance. Allah guides whom he wills and He guided a sinner like me.

Please mother, forgive me for shouting at you, for hurting you. You never stopped loving me. Ya Allah! Bless my mother with Jannah (Paradise) and bless me as well, ameen.

Dear sisters, life is short. Wear hijab to please Allah. Don’t care what society will say. Live to please Allah, not society.

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