By Samantha (USA)
Recently my friend notified me that my story that I submitted last year for world hijab day made the rounds back onto the page again. I thought I’d share what I’ve learned in my one year of wearing hijab. While one year is a short time in comparison to the 24 years I’ve been on this earth, I must admit that I have learned a lot in that small amount of time. Not only have I learned more about myself, but also a LOT about other people and their perceptions of the world and me in hijab. I thought I’d hash out a few of the things that I have come to find out in these last 365 days. I hope this helps others as they embark on this journey of hijab as well.
1. You can’t (and shouldn’t try!) please everyone.
Even when wearing hijab, if not because of it, people will love to judge you. The worst part is that most of the judgement will come from other Muslims! One person will think you are too conservative because you wear hijab, but the next person thinks you are too liberal because you wear jeans. But you know what? Their opinion doesn’t matter! You didn’t put on hijab for people, you put it on for Allah, because you feel it’s important for your growth spiritually. As long as you feel good about how you wear your hijab, no one else’s opinion matters.
2. You are a strong and independent woman! Skin doesn’t determine your strength!
Don’t be fooled by cultural feminists, you don’t need to show some skin to show your strength and independence as a woman. While some women feel that showing cleavage and leg empowers them as women, I feel like my hijab empowers me. While this is a topic for its own post…in a nutshell, hijab doesn’t mean you can’t speak out or have an opinion.
3. You will be treated differently
No matter what people tell you, you will be treated differently. Your friends will need to adjust to you as a hijabi (if they knew you before covering), especially if you partook in activities that are unbecoming of a Muslima (Muslim woman). For instance, now that clubbing and drinking are a no-no, some friends may not find you as interesting or fun to hang out with. You know what? That’s ok. For every person that thinks you are boring, another person finds you inspiring! I have a friend who loves to discuss my (and her) spiritual journies, including coming to hijab. Once on the city bus I saw a girl wearing a scarf loosely over her ponytail, and when she saw me she straightened the scarf to cover her head completely, and then smiled at me. I smiled back. You are making a difference, whether or not you see it.
Also, sometimes you get the stink-eye, but other times you are treated with the utmost respect. I was flabbergasted when a young man (maybe a bit younger than me) stood up on a crowded bus to give me a seat. That never happened to me before I covered. Could it be that maybe there was just one gentleman on the bus that day? Maybe, but when it happened a few more times I started to think it wasn’t coincidence.
4. People are going to assume
People are going to assume that you think a certain way or believe a certain thing because you wear hijab. They think they know why you started to wear it (ESPECIALLY if you just got married to a Muslim). Don’t let that get to you! If you weren’t being stereotyped for wearing hijab, you’d be stereotyped by your race, or your style, or having tattoos, or your hair cut, or your accent… people always want to fit others in a little box, and you don’t need to worry about that. Just keep on keeping on, sister. Their assumptions don’t define you.
5. Everyone’s journey is different
While some people find hijab to be easy, others find it so, so hard. If you are struggling to keep your hijab, while your friends or family seem to be wearing it with ease, that’s ok. There’s nothing wrong with you and there’s nothing strange about your struggle (or lack thereof!) Some days I love my hijab, other days I don’t even want to leave the house because I feel weird with it on. Fortunately, more days I love it . 🙂 In any case, one person’s trials don’t apply to everyone- but take comfort that someone out there is feeling the same as you are, even if it’s not at the same time.